Do NOT Tell Me to Do a Yeast Cleanse

9 May

Angry and Itchy!

Angry and Itchy!

I have hives. I think about people that piss me off…I get hives. I stumble in the mornings….I get hives. I diet…I get hives. People talk to me…I get hives. I think about having to talk to other people…I get hives. Do NOT tell me I need to do a GD cleanse. I’m not allergic to anything…except, maybe anger. I’m just plain angry…and that beats sadness most days.

I am a lucky girl in many aspects. I have a loving home with an incredible partner, I have a great job (now), I have a car, I have food, I can walk….yet I’m angry and when I’m not angry, I’m dead inside. It is starting to get old. I miss being carefree and silly. I’m sure Main Squeeze misses it too! Don’t think I’m not trying, but it’s gonna take time apparently. It was the same when my sweet Mom died a few years ago. Really bad stuff happens and you get BOILING, FIRE-SPITTING ANGRY because that helps a little and simply because you are so damn foot-stomping mad that you have no say in the matter. It just is.

Ok, I find myself getting pretty deep here. Maybe if I approach the problem at hand by challenging myself – things will get better. Today I challenge myself not to tell anyone to go fuck themselves or to NOT punch anyone in the face. Think that is doable? I sure hope so, because with my fused back, I don’t think jail would be good for me.

Just wanted to stop in and say that this is where I am – I hope I can still provide some smiles. Today, I came across a blog that made me FEEL something, so for all of you out there having any kind of emotional struggle – this is for you. Please read and look at the pictures – it’s purely genius. I’ll be here looking for my little bit of corn.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

Coming Soon: Ten Reasons Living Dilbert Would Not Fair Well in Prison

12 Responses to “Do NOT Tell Me to Do a Yeast Cleanse”

  1. Alchiketi May 9, 2013 at 4:53 pm #

    LD, your hive filled, pissy, foul mood self is loved everyday. One day at a time…and I know you know that.
    Can’t wait for next post. Maybe your readers can suggest some too! like…your mouth will get you in trouble!

  2. Belle1231 May 9, 2013 at 4:54 pm #

    OMG! Whatever you have, it’s contagious! I’ve had it for weeks and it’s ever so slowly getting worse! It’s harder and harder not to tell them all to go to hell and don’t stop for coffee on their way! Anger is a good thing, but . . . I so hate getting up on weekday mornings because I hate where I know I’m going.

    I love you and I truly do understand. Let that angry voice out. May I suggest plastic cups and bean bags? Throwing either one is relatively safe to other things – and people. xoxoxox

  3. Brea May 9, 2013 at 7:39 pm #

    Oh, LD, you read my mind! I was gonna recommend Allie’s blog to you if you hadn’t read it already.

    Been there, still have the permanent tread marks somewhere on my skin.

  4. Jenni May 9, 2013 at 8:03 pm #

    Good to hear from you!

    Jenni Engledow Sent from my iPhone

  5. Ora May 9, 2013 at 8:56 pm #

    I can totally empathize…except without the hives.

  6. heathwilder May 9, 2013 at 11:06 pm #

    I think life would be easier if you could punch someone in their smug #$!@ attitude dontcha think? I find using Darth Vaders Imperial March as internal theme music helps. As does saying “hulk smash” under my breath.
    I feel I’ve revealed too much of my demographic.

  7. Rob May 9, 2013 at 11:16 pm #

    Don’t know if this would be helpful (or if you’re in a place that you want something helpful) but here it is nonetheless. Mock if you must. https://www.superbetter.com/ Watch the video on the home page; the creator is a video game designer who created the site as a way to try to get herself back into a good place after a concussion. She explains it in the video. Or just hate the sun. And purple. Best wishes.

  8. thoughtsappear May 10, 2013 at 10:46 am #

    SO happy to see a post from you! Hang in there!

  9. Tracy May 10, 2013 at 11:27 am #

    I was angry/irritated for a long time and went on anxiety meds to make it better. That worked for a bit but after much soul searching and a desire to get off my daily anxiety cocktail, I realized that at the bottom of it all, I have severe control issues. I’m working through those now and find that juicing and a daily walk with myself helps me. Yoga isnt too far down the road either. Hope you’re able to find a solution that works for you. A great partner deserves the best person you can be. Xoxo

  10. Cori May 10, 2013 at 3:05 pm #

    I can relate for sure. Glad to see this post and hope writing it helped a little. You are not alone in this my friend- or in anything. There are many of us who love and support you and will gladly bail you out if needed! Hell- I’ll kick ass with you and let someone bail us both out! A sad anniversary is coming up and it’s hard not to feel things are a little harder than usual- or a lot harder. Lean on us whenever you want. xoxoxo

  11. harlsmits May 10, 2013 at 4:45 pm #

    Maybe you could just punch people in the neck today…

  12. Cymbria Wood May 22, 2013 at 3:52 pm #

    Absolutely love your blog!! And couldn’t resist nominating you for The Versatile Blogger Award! Yippity doo lucky you… actually, it’s a wee bit less glamourous than The Oscars :) But here’s the link for more info:

    http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/vba-rules/

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