Bad Male Office Habits

27 Mar

I work with a lot of male lawyers and always have – they have some distinct habits, all of them unpleasant.   So I don’t sound totally bitchy, I will say this is not all men….just more than the majority.

1) Taking the front desk newspaper to the bathroom to read while pooing.   Sirs, UCK.  Do you think we don’t notice when you come by the reception desk, give us a hearty hello, pick  up the newspaper and then walk to the bathroom in plain view, come back in 20 minutes clearly pleased with yourselves (with folded newspaper in hand) and then put it BACK ON THE RECEPTION DESK?!   We don’t want to see it, touch it, (God help us…catch a whiff of it), think about it – we want it no where near us!   Could you try to be a little more subtle?

2) Dishes in sink.  Ok, I’m not sure if you noticed, but we are a small law firm and do not have our own housekeeping department to come behind you and clean up your mess.   It is demeaning.  We really hate it when you put a half-eaten plate of food by or in the sink…do you think elves come and clean it off or do you think the plate mysteriously cleans itself?  It doesn’t, rocket scientist.

3) Leave empty soda 12-packs in fridge.   I don’t know about you, but I have personally realized that if you don’t put shit in the fridge, it won’t be there for you to drink later.  The entire supply of sodas and waters is about 5 feet from your head by the fridge…if you drink the last soda (you can take notes if needed here), throw out the empty carton (that’d be the one with nothing in it) and put in a new one.  Please contact me if you need instructions on how to open said 12-pack.

4) Walk down the hallway farting.  Yes, we hear you and it is disgusting as hell.  Stop it.

I’ll close with four today…it is the weekend after all.   I just find it continually amazing that these guys cannot, will not, do anything for themselves – anything.   If you work in an office, sirs, just once in a while try to heed one of the above-referenced suggestions and you will be a rock star to the staff.   If not, we’ll just continue to think you are an inconsiderate bastard and talk about what an inconsiderate bastard you are behind your back.

Tomorrow  – “What Do You Mean You Want a Day Off?”

3 Responses to “Bad Male Office Habits”

  1. Office1 March 27, 2010 at 11:18 am #

    At 23, I worked for a self-loathing female office manager who use to make only the “women” on the admin staff clean all of the accountants coffee cups and dirty dishes. The one male on the admin staff was excused from that demeaning duty.

    Yep…nice huh! So…inconsiderate bastards can come in all genders, although the males in your office are making exceptional efforts to win this battle of the sexes.

  2. Cori April 1, 2010 at 3:40 pm #

    I am signed up to get updates but did not receive this one or the more recent ones. I am going to sign up again, but wanted to let you know about this glitch…
    Now I am off to read and laugh at your recent entries! 🙂

  3. Angela Classen April 16, 2010 at 10:58 am #

    OMG #1 is too much! At the previous firm I worked at, we had an attorney do this exact same thing. When he’d come back and plop the paper down on the reception desk, we’d all cringe!

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