How to Fail in Business Without Even Trying

31 Mar

My bosses have a golden lottery ticket in their hands and instead of cashing it in for millions (hell, even thousands), they casually decide to wipe their butts with it instead.  I do NOT get it.   You start a business that is now in it’s fourth year, we have no profit and yet you still do absolutely no marketing, no budget analysis, no consistent billing, no anything…you just sit around and talk about how awesome you are and far better lawyers than anyone in the city.   I came to work here hoping it’d be a success….yes, I actually believed in the product.   Too bad there was not a money-back guarantee.  

I was so full of hope and promise as the newly-appointed office administrator, but it has since been beaten out of me.  Bad Bosses love to bring up the subject of “projects” but they never materialize.  Am I a Disgruntled Know It All Manager?  Heavens no….but, I can state with all certainty that you have to seek clients to grow business, get your name out there to develop name recognition, that some rules are there for a reason in order to prevent total chaos, and one actually needs to send out bills to get paid.  Getting paid is what keeps us in business.  It’s a pretty tried and true business model.  Maybe I should just hand them $100 bills to flush down the toilet on a daily basis.

Is this just a hobby for them, something to do to feel good about themselves and pass the time because Bad Bosses are independently wealthy or have spouses with big-wig jobs?   For me, it was an investment.   Sadly, not a good one.   I can suggest improvements, money-saving procedures or anything that would help get us out of this flat-lining business until I am hoarse and sick of hearing my own voice.  Instead, I am doomed to suffer the same fate as the mythological character, Cassandra.   Granted the gift of seeing the future, yet no one ever believed her predictions.  It was said about Cassandra –  “She evokes the same awe, horror and pity as do schizophrenics, who often combine deep, true insight with utter helplessness, and who retreat into madness.”  Yep, I’m retreating.

Tomorrow – Brainless Coworkers

5 Responses to “How to Fail in Business Without Even Trying”

  1. Alice March 31, 2010 at 9:29 am #

    Ah, Cassandra…. Alas, just as you can’t make someone love you – you can’t make someone give a shit. Don’t worry, they’ll just wait until it all falls apart and make you try and fix the unfixable and blame you when it fails.

  2. izziedarling March 31, 2010 at 9:39 am #

    No profit in 4 years? WHAT? Plus, in an economy like this, you have to market like crazy. I do that for the company I work for and it is really getting results. You are too smart to work there.

  3. alchiketi March 31, 2010 at 9:40 am #

    🙂 Breathe…
    i’m with ya LD
    just another fucking day in paradise

  4. Office1 March 31, 2010 at 6:08 pm #

    OMG…nice Cassandra quote. I’ve come to believe that when I am praised in my profession, it is really because I can read instructions, follow directions and meet deadlines. I really think that is the standard for “excellence and extraordinary talent” in my chosen profession.

    I heard a fabulous quote the other day. It seems fitting:

    Meetin’ ain’t doin’

  5. shoutabyss July 15, 2010 at 3:03 pm #

    I love the subject line for this post. Love it. Be still, my beating heart.

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