Getting Lawyers Their Lunch

13 Apr

Ok, this is a bit of an overused word…but, getting lawyers their lunch basically SUCKS.   It is never a spirit-lifting, confidence-boosting task.  

I know of someone who has to walk 6 blocks every day, rain or shine, to get her boss the one salad he prefers.   One time, this same jackass stopped me in the hall of my old firm.  I didn’t work for him and tried to avoid him whenever possible.   If I heard him coming in the hall, I’d turn and go the other way.  He was famous for being a major pain in the ass.   This particular day, my luck ran out.   He grabbed me and said “Go get lunch for me and so and so and whatever else anyone needs.”   I cussed silently under my breath, gritted my teeth, gave him a smile and said my surliest “sure” that I could muster.   I walked my angry, sweaty self those 6 blocks, ordered (ended up being 3 lunches and a dinner) and this big-spending partner had only given me a $20.  Thankfully, the bill was covered by a hair.  This was on a Friday.  On Monday morning, after a gleeful weekend of freedom and pretending I was someone else, this same partner had his secretary send me an email and he wanted to know where his change was?   Are you kidding???  It was like $0.12.   Cheap bastard.   You can only imagine the many things I thought up instantaneously that he could do with his change.  Another no-no to all the thoughtless bosses out there, if you DO make us go get your lunch, don’t bitch about it!   We didn’t make it, we only regurgitated the order you gave us and carried it to your lazy ass.  

To all the lawyers and corporate executives that make your sweet secretary/assistant go get your lunch every day – really?  Could you at least “offer” to buy your secretary lunch once in a while too?   Could you say “thank you” when we put the lunch you made us go get into your grubby little hands?  For the sake of all that is decent, she’ll love you for it and be far less apt to let a pigeon crap on your sandwich/salad on the way back to the office.  

Tomorrow – Telltale Signs of a Bad Boss

6 Responses to “Getting Lawyers Their Lunch”

  1. izziedarling April 13, 2010 at 8:58 am #

    That jerk probably wanted his “change” because his company makes no $.

  2. Cori April 13, 2010 at 10:42 am #

    This is an education- I did not know that getting lunch for bosses is part of the job. Is there anything that is a taboo to ask your assistant to get you? Do you pick up dry cleaning and stuff? Isn’t that a personal assistant and not office assistant??

  3. alchiketi April 14, 2010 at 9:04 am #

    Bad Boss of mine from yonder years asked a co-worker of mine to buy tampons for her on office dime and yes my friend was office manager/policy assistant, mistaken for personal assistant.

  4. Leah April 14, 2010 at 5:17 pm #

    Love this post and your blog! I once worked for a higher-up who gave our accounting manager a receipt for a 99-cent Diet Coke. That higher-up makes more than $150,000 a year.

  5. Jeff308M1 April 14, 2010 at 8:30 pm #

    I know you are a good person and such a thing would be totally against your nature, BUT under the circumstances you described a bit of special treatment would have been very fitting for the lawyer (who you did not work for) that cornered you in the hallway. For example, …

    ..waiting an hour or two before even departing on the errand (Oh, you wanted that for today?)

    … adding obvious foreign matter (not something that would actually do harm like bird poop, baby vomit, or rat poison), but something that would just let the a**hole know that sending you on such an errand was a bad idea. Maybe a few rocks, paperclips, or glitter that you would have no idea where it came from.

  6. ChicFil-A Girl May 17, 2010 at 6:09 pm #

    My boss does this very same thing. I’ve tried various methods to get out of it, all to no avail. My latest tactic is to bring my laptop to work and I take it and sit in a coffee shop for an hour before coming back. The coffee shop is next to his favorite take-out lunch place, so I figure if he’s willing to wait it out until I’m done, then I will bring his lunch back for him when I return. Its a win/win. I get an hour break and he gets his lunch – eventually. 😉

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