Bad Bosses Cause Carb Cravings

21 Apr

Bad Boss has caused me to gain 10 pounds in the last year.  His behavior and rantings cause an actual physical reaction in my body that makes me need naughty food stuffs.  Every time he yells at me, my body chimes in and yells for a doughnut.   On the bad days, I think about them all day long.  The hard thing is that I’m now on a self-imposed “diet.”  Why do I torture myself?  

Should I?
Carbs!

I got busted the other day when Main Squeeze came down to the office to have sushi with me.   We were nonchalantly headed to the restaurant, when I hear “Hey, Living Dilbert!!”  Since I’m always afraid of running in to someone I may have dated, I turned quickly and it was my friend from the Fried Everything place.   I meekly said hello and gave a little wave.   Main Squeeze says, “MY GOD, they know you by first name?”    Sheepish smile, look at ground, change the subject, keep walking.

I can’t help it.  Stress clearly causes cravings to take over my body!   One slam of the phone or one screaming fit from Bad Boss and my mind immediately shifts to, “Man, I wonder if that nice coffee place downstairs has anymore of those huge home-made brownies?”   I guess it is my way of coping.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’m quite surprised I don’t have a split personality.   Maybe I do – and my other personality is a sweet lady who loves to bury her sorrows in food.   Bad for the body, but….oh, so good for the soul kind of food.  We have to comfort ourselves with the small things.  How many of you feel that lunch is the highlight of your entire day?   I know I do…..especially if there are doughnuts.
I ALMOST FORGOT – Happy Administrative Professionals Day to all my fellow Living Dilberts out there today!  Go buy yourself a doughnut!
 
Tomorrow – H1N1 and How I Tried to Catch It

12 Responses to “Bad Bosses Cause Carb Cravings”

  1. Office1 April 21, 2010 at 9:02 am #

    Question: How many carbs are in a gin and tonic?

    Answer: Not nearly enough…drink more!

    Doughnuts aren’t the only way to satisfy your cravings.

    • livingdilbert April 21, 2010 at 5:38 pm #

      Oh, I can promise you that I do not count gin & tonic in the “carb” group. Living Dilbert needs some comfort in life!

  2. tconigl1 April 21, 2010 at 9:03 am #

    I have even gone as far as wanting to quit my job an open a bakery…Now I’m getting laid off and that’s what I’m going to do! There is a plus side to self destruction!

  3. The Orifice April 21, 2010 at 9:37 am #

    Yeah the lolly jar and hot chips are my go to when stupidity or something else that stuffs my charkras happens…

  4. slovie64 April 21, 2010 at 11:17 am #

    If what you say is true, I need to sue my current employers for my rather rotund shape! I have plotted revenge – no carbs and a super bitchy attitude!

  5. digicollage April 21, 2010 at 11:20 am #

    LOL, this is why I smoke!! I tell my hubbs all the time “I could quit, but only if I leave this job!” 😉 Hang in there, and remember – running to the printer for Bad Boss works those calories off!

    • livingdilbert April 21, 2010 at 5:40 pm #

      Ahhh…LD used to smoke. I miss it! Puff away…I totally get it!

  6. Cori April 21, 2010 at 11:24 am #

    LOL!!

    By the way, I love the addition of pictures and just saw the one of Bad Boss from 2 posts ago. It is nice to have a picture of him- the one in my head was only slightly less flattering. 🙂

  7. grummelmaedchen April 21, 2010 at 12:47 pm #

    Something I just learned the hard way: When you have a very stressy time (like exam time, or a deadline that scares the crap out of you), don’t fundamentally change your diet in the middle of it. Even if you think you should go easy on the carbs, don’t “torture yourself”, they might be just what you need — and that karma coming right back at you is not pleasant, b/c then, it’s not just cravings; you might be viciously mutineed upon by your own body *imagines enzymes swinging pirate-y swords*.
    Also, God yes, they’re good for the soul 🙂

  8. cooper April 21, 2010 at 5:19 pm #

    YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lunch is the highlight of the day…that and leaving.m Of course keeping the Sam’s Club size bag of mini choclates in the desk extends that lunchtime euphoria….along with my gut…

  9. MB April 21, 2010 at 5:28 pm #

    The lunch hour was always the best and quickest hour of the work day. I’d rather a nice liquid lunch to get me through the afternoon. A few martinis make everything better, right?

    I used food to keep my mouth busy so I wouldn’t tell the a$$hole lawyer to go f*** himself. Now that I’m on the outside I’m in the process of working off almost 100 pounds of those words.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Really Bad Boss Blog Roundup | Really Bad Boss™ - April 23, 2010

    […] lunch becomes the highlight of your day – a funny rant on the blog, Living Dilbert, about how bad bosses cause carb cravings. I can […]

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