My Life as a Gardener

23 Apr

As I was working in my yard last weekend, it occurred to me that working in a law firm and gardening have several similarities.   A perfect comparison?  What do aphids and Bad Bosses possibly have in common?   They both will suck the life out of something beautiful for their own survival.   Bad Boss is the epitome of an aphid.  I recently read that aphids are monophagous, meaning they only feed on one plant species.   Clearly, Bad Boss is the aphid and I’m the only surviving plant species from which to feed!   When I arrived here at Passive-Aggressive & Angry, LLP, I like to think I was still kind of beautiful (inside at least) and that I was full of life.   Now?   I am a withered, husk of a former employee and I’m mean to boot.  

The soil was rich and fertile when I started at the firm two years ago.   The seeds were planted in my head in preparation for amazing growth and those seeds promised a bountiful harvest.   However, like any garden, if not fertilized and cared for…the soil dies and becomes infertile.  I don’t think I could have a hopeful idea now if I tried.  Each time I do, Bad Boss plucks them like an ugly weed and tosses them in the trash without a second thought.  

I’ve realized that Living Dilbert is in a sea of manure with only cloudy skies in the forecast.   My roots in this garden will no longer grow.  I’ve got to germinate and float into the wind to greener pastures.

Tomorrow – The Spirit of Giving or Lack Thereof

7 Responses to “My Life as a Gardener”

  1. collectivegood April 23, 2010 at 9:21 am #

    I loved this! I don’t think that a simple oil, water and soap solution will solve this aphid problem.

    Hope you get some outside fun this weekend!

  2. alchiketi April 23, 2010 at 9:48 am #

    I had a similar epiphany after i visited the chinese terracota soldiers exhibition. All the fame and glory that emperor chin (i think was his name..a crazy m.f**ker for sure…who thought he was going to continue to rule in after life and hence the buried terracota army) got and we still associate the craftmanship of the terracota army with him. but in fact the craftmanship is the genius work of underdogs and laborors like us, LD! it’s time once again for the proletarians to overthrow the bourgees.

  3. MB April 23, 2010 at 11:08 am #

    We need to figure out a way to get away from these soul sucking aphids.

    • livingdilbert April 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm #

      You got that right, MB. I’ve been loving your comments.

      • MB April 23, 2010 at 4:11 pm #

        Well, I’ve been loving your blog. I can totally relate to EVERYTHING you’ve been through.

        I think only people who have been there can truly understand how horrible a Bad Boss can be. I’m really hoping I don’t have to go back to work in a law firm. They are a special kind of bad.

        If you haven’t read it yet, you should check out “Happy Hour is for Amateurs” by the Philadelphia Lawyer. It’s a great read for people like us.

        Enjoy your two days of freedom and have a great weekend!

  4. sparrow1969 April 23, 2010 at 9:38 pm #

    I’ve so enjoyed your blog…and I am so sorry to hear that working at Passive-Aggressive & LLP has been such a soul sucking experience.

    I’m going through a similar situation right now. One lady I work with has made life so miserable I’m abandoning ship. Like you said, my root won’t grow in this garden, so it’s time to float off to greener pastures.

    Here’s to both of us finding just the right place to land!


  5. Cori April 26, 2010 at 11:04 am #

    Nice analogy!

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