The Power of Accidental Eavesdropping

27 Apr

I can’t help but hear everything that goes on in the office…you should see where I have to sit and I have really good hearing!  I’m positioned smack dab in the middle of three partners’ offices.   Outside of having no personal privacy whatsoever, it does have a very few advantages. Other than that, picture me grimacing on a daily basis when all three are on speaker phone.

Bad Boss does not like to tell me anything that is going on in the office that pertains to our business future, how it is run, anything.  I used to be hurt that Bad Boss didn’t want to share anything about the office with me – all joking aside, I am the Office Administrator, right?  However, I’ve learned that he has serious control issues and is not interested in being part of a team or growing his business.  It’s not about me.  Whew.  Still, it can be really annoying when others in the office ask me what is going on and I have to shrug.  Bad Bosses forget when they close their doors…that our sound-proofing here is terrible, not to mention the fact they are all deeply in love with their speaker phones.  

Here are a few things I have found out about our firm recently:

– Bad Boss is trying to dump some of our office space and we have not paid our rent in a few months as a tactic of “negotiation.”  Not a good sign.  Funny since he can never seem to remember the conditions of our lease in the first place and has to ask me.

– Bad Boss #2 just bought a used Porsche and feels he got it for a steal at $34,000.  This is the same boss who refuses to pay for the postage he uses for all his personal bills – ever!

– Bad Boss #3 has to get a colonscopy soon and is not looking forward to it.   Bad Boss #2 had one about a month ago and it wasn’t pretty or appreciated. 

– Useless Coworker is extremely paranoid and talks about me to her boyfriend.  She also talks to herself constantly.

– I hear Bad Bosses offering my services to clients before they even ask me and the titles they use for me…which reassures me constantly where I stand with them.   Example: “young lady,” “secretary,” “Bad Bosses’ Bitch” (just kidding on that last one).  

– I’m convinced Bad Bosses are not sure of the direction in their life.

– All are very white, very conservative and very opinionated. I hear many words that are very old-fashioned in not a good way!

– All are in love with the sound of their own voices.

So, if you too are feeling left out at work…sit still and listen.  You’ll be amazed at what you can learn.

Tomorrow – My Life as a Meteorologist


10 Responses to “The Power of Accidental Eavesdropping”

  1. office1 April 27, 2010 at 9:05 am #

    Wow is all I can say…not paying rent as a form of “negotiation.” I’ve never heard that term for not paying your bills before.

  2. The Mobile Orifice April 27, 2010 at 10:44 am #

    Our bosses have doors with vents in them. My god the stuff I heard. I choked laughing at all three on speaker phone. Same here!

  3. katie o. April 27, 2010 at 10:49 am #

    i sit in cubeland. i’ll gladly trade places.

  4. Cori April 27, 2010 at 10:50 am #

    I am sure that one of them has referred to you as their “bitch” at least in their heads. 😉 Too funny. The details that you overheard are crazy- what a perfect example of their blissful stupidity to think that no one can hear them.

  5. alchiketi April 27, 2010 at 11:04 am #

    “All are very white, very conservative and very opinionated. I hear many words that are very old-fashioned in not a good way!” – please provide examples.

    • livingdilbert April 27, 2010 at 11:35 am #

      I’ve heard the word “wetback” used in a sentence. Pretty horrifying to say the least.

  6. Amy April 27, 2010 at 2:32 pm #

    I just read your entire blog archive! I swear you must work in my office only I know your bosses are lawyers and I work with insurance agents (I’m one too, but I don’t like to admit it). The level that I can relate to your posts can’t be measured with modern instruments. Thank you for enriching my work day with a little laughter!

  7. izziedarling April 27, 2010 at 3:55 pm #

    How in the world are they meeting payroll? Early in my career(?), I worked at a magazine and my desk was parked right outside the men’s room. The publisher went in there at least three times during each work day – not to use the facilities. Finally, in an editorial meeting that didn’t include him, I said, “Pierre has the worst cold; he sniffles all day in the men’s room.” Everybody died laughing and one kind soul finally explained to me that he had a bit of a cocaine issue and the sniffles were snorts. Felt like total twit.

  8. shoutabyss April 27, 2010 at 10:31 pm #

    I love the inset picture. It demonstrates the same kind of “accidental” eavesdropping that I practice as well! 🙂

    The office space “negotiation” doesn’t surprise me one bit! I don’t think even my boss went that far but he did manage to get the rent lowered. My boss also argued with the City over paying the standard fee for the monument sign in front of our establishment. He argued that the sign was “temporary” so he shouldn’t have to pay the fee. The City caved. Over five years later, of course, that same “temporary” sign is still there.

    Isn’t it just lovely to feel inspired?

    I’m now going to clobber WordPress since it isn’t notifying me about your new posts for some strange reason. Whaaa!

  9. Mahlaqa Saeed April 28, 2010 at 1:01 am #

    Your blog continues to prove that Bad Bosses are the same species no matter how geographically apart they may be! I’ve suffered through Bad Boss loving the sound of his voice. Used to work in the PR department for 5 years and every evening when I’d leave the office, he’d give a sly smile from his desk; strategically placed with his eye on the exit. The smile would get slyer when someone would leave at 6pm (though office timings were till 5!) and the worst was when he’d shout my name from his very seat, asking me how my day went (as if he cared!)

    and THAT was the opportunity to gimme 5 secs to talk and then relate some random story for atleast an hour. there were times i had to pay my driver overtime due to this.

    and God save me the day my department head took an off (after working for more than 20 hours straight at times). Bad Boss loved the sound of his voice most while he bad mouthed my Good Boss in front of me and then patronized him the very next day!

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