There’s a Dead Body in My Parking Garage

30 Apr

Well, maybe not really, but it sure smelled like it when I went to my car yesterday.  I’ve smelled a dead body before and it is very unique.  When Living Dilbert was young and idealistic and still in college, she thought she wanted to be a detective and she did a college internship at a sheriff’s department.  Oh, the things I saw.   This was probably more back in the day when they let interns get a close up view of everything and participate in ride alongs.  One day we were called out because of a dead body being found in a vacant yard.   It was some poor guy that had committed suicide, but there was an autopsy the next day just to be sure.   I was very proud I didn’t puke because let me tell you – it stunk.   I remember the detective telling me, “Yep, the smell of a dead body is not one that you’ll forget.”   He was right.

So…yesterday when I went to my car I was convinced there was something pretty big and pretty dead nearby, but I didn’t find anything.  NO, it was not my Useless Coworker!   She’s here today.   It did make me think about dead bodies though and I think Bad Bosses must have some dead bodies stashed in some closets up here or something and there must be pictures!  It is the only rational explanation for the business decisions they are constantly making!  One of the partners must be blackmailing the others.  Yesterday, for example, they took the ONE thing that could bring us some business and decided to cancel it.  I guess “word of mouth” will be our only hope now…but let me tell you, the phones are NOT ringing.  It is perpetually silent.   Yeah, something stinks around here alright…and it is apparently my future at this firm.

Tomorrow – Saturday Morning Cartoons and Superheroes

8 Responses to “There’s a Dead Body in My Parking Garage”

  1. shoutabyss April 30, 2010 at 8:47 am #

    It’s amazing the decisions that get made by those who are the only ones “qualified” to make them, eh? What seems like Kindergarten 101 to you and then they go and do the exact opposite.

    I love being told my suggestions suck by people who pay $150 for a product and the retail it on the web site for $100.

    Yep, you read that right. Management doesn’t have the “time” and can’t “afford” to hire a person responsible for keeping prices current on the web site.

    The plan from the “big brained” management goes something like this:

    Allow prices to stagnate for years. When customers finally order the item, which they eventually always do when the deal gets good enough, we’ll finally find out when we pay the invoice from our supplier and notice that it’s more that what we sold the item for. Forget about markup, we’re talking about a raw loss on the transaction. Then, this is the good part, they’ll change the price on the web site for that item only and let the stagnation process start anew.

    A normal business practice it to buy something at one cost, and sell it for more than what was paid. That usually results in something complicated that economic theorists have sometimes described as “profit.”

    We just don’t have the resources to put an actual employee on a task like that so we continue to routinely sell stuff for less that what we paid. It is so encouraging and uplifting to work for Einsteins like that!

  2. Mavis April 30, 2010 at 8:54 am #

    My car smells like a dead body, but in reality, it’s just moldy stuff from all the rain at Inman Park Festival last weekend.

  3. Cori April 30, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

    Quite dark today… and I LOVE IT! 🙂

  4. absodoodle April 30, 2010 at 1:55 pm #

    GREAT HEADLINE!!!

  5. Kimi April 30, 2010 at 3:55 pm #

    I would have said what’s stinking is the office’s refrigerator (if there is one) : ).

  6. izziedarling April 30, 2010 at 4:50 pm #

    Hilarious as always. And about that other “going to hell” post, have found it’s best to preface everything I say with the phrase, “I know I’m going to hell, but …” Really hope none of us are going there – I hate to get overheated.

  7. cooper May 1, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

    trying to determine which is worse, the stench of a dead body or the gagging aroma of the microwaved fish my co-workes perpare every day for lunch…

  8. alchiketi May 3, 2010 at 9:32 am #

    or the breath of a co-worker who insists on sitting close to you when working on some joint projects. we sit at a table for a reason, so that i don’t have to share my personal air space with stinky breath people!

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