Unspoken Words?

28 May

Bad Boss:

“Thank you.”;  “Hello.”;  “How are you doing?”; “Gosh, thanks for doing that.”; “Thanks for staying late.”; “You are a great employee.”; “You know, I never thought of that.”; “Good point.”; “I appreciate you.”; “Thanks so much for thinking of that and saving my ass for the umpteenth time.”; “Have a great day off.”; “Have a great vacation.”

Useless Coworker:

“Thank you.”; “I’m an idiot.”; “I should have thought of that.”; “I’m sorry I cried yesterday and had a fit at you.”; “Thanks for being patient with me the last two years.” “I’m so lucky to have this job.”; “Thanks for ordering that for me.”; “Do you like my exercise ball chair?”; “I’m sorry I don’t know my a-hole from my elbow.”; “Sorry I forgot to refill the copier, fridge, water, anything I use – again.”

Me:

“I hate it here.”; “You are all buffoons.”; “My head is going to explode if you even look at me.”; “Did you really just tell that client his daughter needs to find a good man?”; “Are we going out of business?”; “Why don’t you get off your ass and make some phone calls?”; “Do you have a trust fund?”

The Universe:

“Get out!”;  “Run for your life.”; “Murder is wrong.”; “Keep looking for another job…don’t give up hope.”

Tomorrow – Montgomery Biscuits

15 Responses to “Unspoken Words?”

  1. alchiketi May 28, 2010 at 8:40 am #

    “Do you like my exercise ball chair?” – ha! ha! ha! ha! ROFL! ROFL! ROFL!

  2. Ody Granados May 28, 2010 at 9:25 am #

    How about for BB “I know it costs a bit more, but if you think it’s worth it.”

    • livingdilbert May 28, 2010 at 10:18 am #

      Brilliant…would have been a perfect thing to say! You sure get it! He loves to not approve anything that will help our firm or save us money in the long run. He seems to always take the opposite stance. Thank you!

      • Sank May 28, 2010 at 10:37 am #

        From my archive-
        “seemed like a good idea at the time”
        “You f*cked up, you trusted us”
        “I’ll eat just one more”
        “Are you expecting”
        “If you could that, that’d be greeaaaaat”
        “YES”.

        All things I’ve regretted saying later.

  3. perpetuallypeeved May 28, 2010 at 11:01 am #

    LD – you forgot, for you: “Really, no one has ever told you you’re a douchebag before?”

  4. breaaire May 28, 2010 at 11:05 am #

    “Murder is wrong”…. justifiable homicide, then?
    *evil giggle*

  5. shoutabyss May 28, 2010 at 11:28 am #

    “I wish we could share the same cubicle.”

  6. Belle May 28, 2010 at 12:00 pm #

    Texas Defense: “Your honor, he just needed killin’.”

  7. Cori May 28, 2010 at 12:05 pm #

    When “Hello” is an unspoken word from BB you know he is a douchebag!!

    For Useless co-worker, how about “Sorry I left some dishes in the sink this afternoon, I will go and clean them right now. How thoughtless of me.”

  8. breaaire May 28, 2010 at 12:32 pm #

    Oh my… LOVE the Mood Indicator pic for today! ROFLMAO!

  9. Ody May 28, 2010 at 2:39 pm #

    BTW, here’s a perfect site for all those times they ask you to do research: http://lmgtfy.com/

  10. Ody May 28, 2010 at 2:40 pm #

    And no, that wasn’t spam or spyware. it’s a legit site.

  11. marketingtomilk May 29, 2010 at 7:26 am #

    Brilliant post. Made me chuckle. Buckets.

    http://marketingtomilk.wordpress.com

  12. bookjunkie May 29, 2010 at 10:31 pm #

    it takes so little to please us…why don’t they just get it??….just a smile or a thank you does wonders..and it’s free!!!

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