I Feel a Stomach Flu Coming On…

10 Jun

First, I must say this is not my typical behavior and it worries me a little.   I have always been a very conscientious employee, wanting to be part of a productive team and to see my place of business do well.   I know you’d never know that by the way I talk about this job…but, it is what I’ve become while working here.   I can only pray that when the day comes…I can morph back into my old self.  For the time being, the “new” me wants Bad Boss to kiss my ass and preferably before wiping. 

I’m actually going to feign an illness starting today at about 1:00.  I’m going to start feeling terribly barfish and will have to go home immediately.  I’ve planned this with extreme precision.  Bad Boss will be at an ass-kissing lunch (he’s doing the kissing, of course) and so he can’t argue with me.   The illness will be so over-powering that I will not be able to come in on Friday either.  I’m not proud, but I need a mental break and this week has been especially painful!  Even though I’m only asked to do menial tasks when needed, Bad Boss likes to have me around.  If you’ve read older posts, you know HE does not like for me to take a day off…ever.   If I was busy or he was busy…I’d totally get it, but we ARE NOT.   We have not been for some time.   I sit here, painfully, for 8 hours a day.   He is going to be so mad at me…and will find a way to make me suffer for missing work, but I am willing to take the punishment.  You should have been here the time I got assigned to federal jury duty…he was mad for weeks.

I just need time to do some very important things!!!   

Like what?  Get an oil change, spend time with my rescues, clean my house, sleep late, loaf, watch bad television, read, job search, have a job interview, be away from this GD hellhole, breathe, you get the point.   It’s that or murder.

I’ll be in touch.

Tomorrow – I Can Breathe!

13 Responses to “I Feel a Stomach Flu Coming On…”

  1. MB June 10, 2010 at 8:38 am #

    Breathing is important. Maybe if work slows down enough you’ll be lucky to get laid off and get paid to stay home (like me). I love being away from those soul suckers. The nicest thing they ever did for me over 11 years was give me that pink slip. Enjoy your day and a half off and good luck with the interview.

    • livingdilbert June 10, 2010 at 7:29 pm #

      Thank you, MB! I’m a little nervous because LD hates change, but it is so needed. Plus, if I worked I worked at a bigger law firm…imagine all the extra material I will get! I wimped out today…didn’t leave til 5. It was what karma told me to do.

  2. alchiketi June 10, 2010 at 8:41 am #

    you have a stock pile of BB getting slapped pics i see! 🙂

    i am refocusing parts of this post for you
    here it goes…I am a very conscientious employee, always a part of a productive team and work to make my place of business do well.

    however the BB1, BB2 & BB3 LLC is a GD hellhole and therefore to preserve my soul and humanity for when the twilight zone is over, i am taking care of myself by feigning illness.

    you said ‘thank you’? you’re welcome. i’m extremely busy with a annual board meeting and 5 days training to host and my BB is out of town and on vacation and arrives the day of the apocalypse.

  3. Office1 June 10, 2010 at 8:45 am #

    Hey LD…buy a copy of Codependent No More and put it on your boss’ desk…see if he gets it.

    • livingdilbert June 10, 2010 at 7:30 pm #

      When I get another job…I’ll have to get it for him. He is going to be so mad!

  4. izziedarling June 10, 2010 at 9:22 am #

    Love that you are playing sick, if I were you in THAT office, I would have played dead. Where male bosses are concerned, I always found it quite effective to say nothing but put my hands on my stomach and make an ugly face. No words – and I was out the door in no time :). Good luck and enjoy your illness. ps – soooo glad you have rescues – must have missed that before – yay rescue people!

    • livingdilbert June 10, 2010 at 7:32 pm #

      Thanks, Izzie! I actually moderate a huge rescue email on the side and try to be very involved in the community…and do I dare say….I have 5 rescues at home! They bring me so much joy. All have such stories, but we are a happy bundle now. Main Squeeze must really love me.

      I like the ugly face idea. I’m doing that next time.

  5. Ody June 10, 2010 at 11:17 am #

    You must LOVE when he goes on vacation. I know I do when my boss is gone. I love the department chair here, too. On Fridays, he comes around at about noon and says stuff like “It’s a beautiful day outside. go home.” Or, “It’s the start of a three day weekend, go home” or, “it’s snowing too hard, go home.” is that great or what? I tell you, LD, come work with us!

    • livingdilbert June 10, 2010 at 7:34 pm #

      I do love when he goes on vacation. I’ve noticed lately that he takes the day off when I take the day off and damn if he isn’t taking the same week I’m taking in June. He never fully answered me if I can take it off. His favorite is to NOT respond. I’ve covered my bases and I’m taking off the week come hell or highwater!!!

      I asked Main Squeeze about moving North…

  6. GISgal June 10, 2010 at 11:21 am #

    Hey LD, I have been reading your blog for about a month now and have to say that it helps to know that I am not the only working in a toxic work environment. As far as being sick goes I had a boss that when I would call in sick would ask very rudely “What are you going to give me now” in response to me being sick. I thought this was very rude and one time I replied “…menstrual cramps, I don’t think you can catch those but I could be wrong”. Needless to say that was the last time I got a rude reply when calling in sick real or otherwise. Remember you can always use “female trouble” when you need a day off. 🙂

  7. shoutabyss June 10, 2010 at 1:00 pm #

    Remember the end of the movie “An Officer and a Gentleman” when the dude scoops up the woman and carries her away? The workers left behind all clap and cheer for the happiness that is about to ensue.

    That is the way I’m going to react when I see you go out sick today and call in sick tomorrow, too!

    BTW, more synchronocity – I was thinking about going home sick today, too. I kid you not. 🙂

  8. bookjunkie June 11, 2010 at 7:03 am #

    Cool!!! I am praying that you ace your job interview and can fire your boss very soon 🙂

  9. thoughtsappear June 11, 2010 at 9:08 am #

    I hope the job interview went well. Enjoy the time off!

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