Overheard in the Office….2010 (Really)

17 Jun

I’ve been trying to remember random snippets that I’ve heard around the office lately and that cause me to automatically roll my eyes in disgust  –

– “She just needs to find herself a good man…”  (they were NOT referring to me)  (Bad Boss#3)

– “Throw ’em all out!  Just throw them all outta there.” (referring to the White House) (Bad Boss #3)

– “I don’t really need the money…”  (Bad Boss #2 talking to Bad Boss)

– “Reimburse me for this $1.46….” (Bad Boss #2 talking to me)

– “Can’t you just save money some other way than a 401(k)?” (Bad Boss #2)

– “I think she’s probably retarded….?” (Bad Boss #2 about a former secretary that was actually great)

– “I don’t have time to talk to you.  Close my door on your way out.”  (Bad Boss after asking me a question)

– “I don’t have time to read your emails. ” (Bad Boss after asking me to email him)

– “My computer lost a document…” (Useless Coworker)

 – “It’s too hot to nap in my car….” (Useless Coworker)

– “He’s fat as a hog and needs to quit eating…” (Bad Boss #2)

– “Shall we go get our shoes shined?” (Bad Boss to Bad Boss #2)

– “Out of that chicken shit comes chicken salad…” (Bad Boss #3)

– “SLAM” – (sound of Bad Boss slamming his door when he thinks others are too loud)

– “Whooooshhhhh” – (sound of Useless Coworker sneaking out of work earlier each day…)

– “FLUSH” – (sound of my career down the crapper)

– “SIIIGHHHH” – (the sound of regret)

– “Fuck all of you…” (sorry, that was just me thinking aloud)

Tomorrow – Living Dilbert’s Vices

16 Responses to “Overheard in the Office….2010 (Really)”

  1. Office1 June 17, 2010 at 8:52 am #

    “too hot to nap in the car” OMG…did she say that out loud?

    You should offer back, “I hear the unemployment line has air conditioning.”

  2. shutterboo June 17, 2010 at 9:18 am #

    The last five totally made me smile. I hope you have a good day. Only one more left this week. And don’t forget to keep us updated on the new opp!

  3. Michele June 17, 2010 at 9:28 am #


    It’s eery how you pretty much summed up an average day where I work. You haven’t bugged my office have you?

    P.S. – I only nap in my car during my lunch break, so, I’m justified.

  4. Mouse June 17, 2010 at 9:29 am #

    So many of those sound like stuff my Bosses would say, or even have said! Especially the “reimburse me” and the chicken salad ones.

    Hoping you have a good day!

  5. Brea June 17, 2010 at 9:39 am #

    – “My computer lost a document…” Did she try “Google Earth” to find it?

    – “Out of that chicken shit comes chicken salad…” Ok, 2 ways you can take this. Someone turned something shitty into something good and useable – OR – It may look like chicken salad, but that’s just the mayo and celery, it’s really still chicken shit, now eat up.

    Ugh. I can sooo totally see a book and movie-of-the-week deal coming from this blog! Only problem, who plays you in the movie? Lily Tomlin from “9 to 5”, or Julia Roberts from “Erin Brockovich”?

  6. izziedarling June 17, 2010 at 9:57 am #

    Told you so … you WILL be famous, I mean more famous than you already are.

  7. thoughtsappear June 17, 2010 at 9:58 am #

    These are great! Whoa…people still get their shoes shined? I’m so sheltered.

  8. Jenna June 17, 2010 at 11:38 am #

    I can’t get over all times that you’ve been held accountable for amounts under 5 bucks.

  9. Brea June 17, 2010 at 12:51 pm #

    Over at Purvi’s Purple Petals I found this gem:

    Auto Replies for when you’re out of the office on your vacation… I’m still giggling!

  10. Ody June 17, 2010 at 1:17 pm #

    Question: What was the NICEST thing any of the BB’s said to you?

    • livingdilbert June 17, 2010 at 3:16 pm #

      Hmmmm….I think I heard “thank you” once.

  11. cooper June 17, 2010 at 1:34 pm #

    see…we who toil for mega-stupid-corporate have to contend with the thought police, so hearing any of those things around the office is grounds for disembowlment.

    The latest act of censorship involves the tired old cliche (at least around here) concerning the idea of throwing more bodies at a project will complete it faster. Said cliche: Nine women cannot have a baby in a month.

    That phrase is now strictly verboten. It was deemed offensive.

    where’s my Soma…..

  12. writerdood June 17, 2010 at 3:23 pm #

    “It’s too hot to nap in my car….”

    You should offer to paint eyes on her eyelids so she can sleep in her chair. It’s not like anyone would notice.

  13. shoutabyss June 17, 2010 at 3:58 pm #

    I loved the last one. Sadly that’s about the one thing they could say that I might respect. 🙂

    I think this is an awesome idea, cataloging the potent quotables from the boss. I’ve done it intermittently by chance but now I’ve got a purpose.

    Now, whenever he talks and he hears me typing away, he might think I’m working but what I’ll really be doing is recording his inanity for posterior. Or is that posterity? 🙂

  14. Summer S. June 18, 2010 at 3:05 am #

    Man. This just made my day…. 🙂

  15. marketingtomilk June 21, 2010 at 1:28 pm #

    Love it!

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