I’m So Bored That….

9 Jul

Yes, I changed today’s post subject from what I said yesterday and it may be the first time!   I can’t help it.  I’m too dead inside to complain about hot air.  I’ll have to get fired up one day and then complete that draft.   I’m telling you….it is so damn dead here this week, that I may be going insane.  You know it is bad when it is SO boring that you can’t even get mad.   It is crushing my creative energies this week.   Dammit!

I’m so bored, that:

– I keep trying to beat my top score  in Word Search on Great Day Games (great game site), which may be one of the simplest things ever….and I can only get a certain score, yet I keep trying again and again.  I’m too bored to play the other games I’ve played and conquered in the past.

– I’ve worried today that I need to take a mental rest.   I’ve never thought THAT before.  I feel like an old lawn mower that won’t start.   You know..someone can jerk the starter cord and I can’t even produce a tiny sputter.

– I’ve beaten my own record in eye-rolling and now I have a headache.  I now roll my eyes when I hear anyone even stir in the office. 

– that rather than talk to Useless Coworker, I just stirred my decaf with an old nasty pencil rather than go to the kitchen to get a spoon because “she” was in there.   Talking to her sucks whatever remaining oxygen I have left in my blood stream right out of there….leaving me even more blue.

– I’ve found myself staring at my desk or my monitor in a completely unfocused way for minutes at a time….with a glaze forming over my eyes.  Not a good sign. 

– that I  think I actually died about 2 hours ago.  My heart stopped beating because it, too, was bored.  I died at my desk and then all my sphincters relaxed and I pooed on myself and still no one has noticed.

Keep in mind that I do NOT get bored away from work. I can do anything and be happy, but when you are at work and sit where I sit…I can’t just do anything because I’m in plain view.  I wonder if this is some sort of life test.  I wonder if I am passing?

Tomorrow – Refresh and Renew

11 Responses to “I’m So Bored That….”

  1. Amy July 9, 2010 at 9:07 am #

    “that I think I actually died about 2 hours ago.”
    I cracked up at that! I know how you feel.

    If this is a test, then if you mearly survive, then I think you pass.

  2. MB July 9, 2010 at 9:59 am #

    Just imagine how much worse it would have been in the days before the internet. Only 7 hours and 2 minutes to go. Have a great weekend!

  3. Brea July 9, 2010 at 10:33 am #

    “I died at my desk and then all my sphincters relaxed and I pooed on myself and still no one has noticed.”

    Ahhh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaaaaaaa…. *snort*

    Sorry. *wiping eyes* But that was a good one.

  4. thoughtsappear July 9, 2010 at 11:06 am #

    Is a mental rest like when I take off a day from work and call it a “Mental Health Day?”

  5. shoutabyss July 9, 2010 at 1:04 pm #

    At long last, I have identified an area of divergence between us. So that particular dream has died. 🙂

    I’m so sorry to hear how bored you are. To me, however, boredom at work is the precious gift of sweet nectar of the Gods. It is sublime.

  6. The Idiot Speaketh July 9, 2010 at 1:05 pm #

    Soiling yourself at work…..

    I hate when that happens… 🙂

  7. Cori July 9, 2010 at 1:10 pm #

    I started laughing out loud when you stirred your coffee with a pencil rather than go near UC, but I had to run to the bathroom when I read the part about you dying 2 hours ago and losing sphincter control!! Luckily, I kept my bladder control and made it in time.

    TGIF to you LD!! 🙂

  8. cooper July 9, 2010 at 1:50 pm #

    Things to do when bored:

    1) Crazy glue UC’s dirty dishes to her desk (this will require hazmat gloves)

    2) Hide where no one can see you and every five minutes give a blast across the office with your can of silly String.

    3) Make obscene drawings on the kitchen counter with sugar.

    4) Place unusual objects in the refrigerator (a tennis ball, UC’s keyboard, a stapler)

    5) Build a fort under your desk and demand the secret password from anyone who tries to enter.

    6) Buy a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine and sit at your desk reading…a laughiing maniacally.

  9. Bitten by Reality July 9, 2010 at 5:13 pm #

    Ohhh great game site. If no one ever hears from me again, you know where I’ll be!

  10. slightlyignorant July 10, 2010 at 5:48 pm #

    I think you’ve reached the point where you need to start pulling practical jokes on Useless Coworker. Thus, you will both engage your mind in an activity [planning said joke], receive entertainment [watching said joke work] and finally, feel accomplished in the fruits of your labor [planning and executing said joke].
    I’d start with putting glue inside whatever makeup she brings to work.

  11. alchiketi July 11, 2010 at 7:44 am #

    You know you’re bored when you think:

    Hmmm…if a flaming meteorite crashed through the ceiling right now…that’d be interesting.

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