Biting My Tongue….

20 Jul

Biting my tongue more than usual this week and since I get paid on Friday…I’m having to bite it harder and harder not to say the things rumbling around in my head.   Lots of stress this week…more other stuff than work-related and my temper is a bit short.  Here are some quick thoughts in no particular order of things I WISH I could say:

To Bad Boss – “You are the rudest, most self-involved a-hole I’ve ever met.  You are a giant baby….better yet, you are an petulant little pu**y.  It would behoove your family and everyone that has to come in contact with you for you to get intense therapy.  Your firm is a joke…you, as a successful lawyer, are a bigger joke and trust me, lots of folks are laughing.   You have laughably tiny feet too.”

To Bad Boss –   “Must be nice being on your wife’s insurance.  You can get any procedure done for free…we can’t and I just had to pay $230 for something that was free at Old Law Firm.  You are at the tippy top of my sh** list, you cheap bastard.”

To Bad Boss – “I know where you park your car and you are going to need a new paint job very soon based on the fact that my keys accidentally dragged along your passenger side.  On my way up this morning, I also spit a big one on your windshield.   I thank all that is holy every day that I’m not married to you.” 

To Bad Boss #2 – “For God’s sake man, get a hobby.”

To Useless Coworker –  “I appreciate your kindness this week, but I still don’t want to talk to you.”

To Woman from 10th Floor – “Please, I beg of you, quit crapping in our ladies room!!!   I can’t take it!   Eat some cheese or something!”

To the Universe – “Thank you for letting me be employed and for having some form of insurance and the fact that I am lucky in so many ways.   Next time I make a big jump to a job and it’s a gamble….would you mind if maybe, just maybe…it worked out kind of nicely? ”

My writing is not so great this week, bear with me?   Tomorrow will be funny…..

Tomorrow – Poking Fun….

11 Responses to “Biting My Tongue….”

  1. shoutabyss July 20, 2010 at 2:51 pm #

    Laughing my ass off over here!

    I often fantasize about saying similar things, but I know that if I ever got the chance, I wouldn’t actually do it. For me, karma is a one-way street.

    I’d have to say my parte favorita was the section involving spit. If I’m going to be brutally honest, I have to say, “Been there, done that!”

    🙂

  2. Office1 July 20, 2010 at 2:58 pm #

    Karma’s a bitch and you can bet bad boss is at the tippy top of Karma’s sh#* list.

  3. marketingtomilk July 20, 2010 at 3:33 pm #

    laughably tiny feet. hee hee!

  4. slightlyignorant July 20, 2010 at 6:24 pm #

    Your writing is still brilliant this week! And, well, you know what they say about men with tiny feet… Tiny feet, tiny… shoes. (Okay, yeah, I stole that joke from “Notting Hill”)

  5. Single Condo Lady July 20, 2010 at 8:11 pm #

    I thought you were VERY funny today!

  6. Amy July 21, 2010 at 9:36 am #

    You are always funny, but what’s important is that you are laughing as well. You are racking up major karma points and they will be redeemed one day.

  7. izziedarling July 21, 2010 at 10:42 am #

    You are always brilliant, regardless of what’s going on in your head. I hope the “other stuff” works out. Thinking of you, all good.

  8. Brea July 21, 2010 at 2:49 pm #

    The fact that you’re still sticking it out, THAT is truly heroic. You need a cape.

  9. Pkitass July 22, 2010 at 2:05 am #

    When you accidently scratch the car, can your camera accidently be taking pictures also.

  10. Jenni Engledow July 22, 2010 at 10:13 pm #

    You’ve still got it!

    Wouldn’t it be fun, to be like “House” and just spout what you are feeling when you’re feeling it?

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