I Assume Your Lack of Response Means….

28 Jul

You know what bugs the living hell out of Living Dilbert besides Bad Boss and Useless?   Bad vendors.  We are a small office and do I ask for much?  No.   Am I very, very nice to all of our vendors?  Yes, I promise you.   Here’s a list of things you, as a vendor, can do to get on my bad side:

1 – Don’t respond to an urgent request.  I’m not an a-hole.  I don’t yell and scream and expect you to put me at the top of your list when I have a crisis, but you know what?   When I do have an IT crisis and it takes you two days to get back to me?   I want to come over there and punch you all in the face.   Men…I’ll kick you in the nads.   When you DON’T respond or say you’ll “get back to me” – who do you think gets yelled at when stuff doesn’t get corrected?   Who do you think is the front-line for blame when it is totally out of my control?   Right – LIVING DILBERT.   IT Vendor, we pay you thousands and thousands each year.  Let me tell you, naughty vendor, how about I stop mailing your payments or just get around to it when I feel like it?

2 – Vendors that I’ve never used that will NOT leave me alone.  While I appreciate your drive and desire for new business, if I don’t call you back the 47 times you call me, there is a pretty good chance that I’M NOT INTERESTED.   I’m trying to save us both face.   However, if you keep calling me and emailing me once a day, I will eventually let you know how I feel and I probably won’t be nice.  In addition, I work for a controlling Bad Boss who will NEVER let me choose a vendor because he must have the final word like a little bratty-ass child bully on a playground, so it’s out of my hands.

3 – For the office – Don’t leave me several post-its on my desk about a vendor when we’ve already discussed it.  You know what I’ll do with your notes after I’ve muttered every obscenity known to human kind?  I’ll rip that mother effer up and throw it in the trash.  I came in this morning to not one, but 3 notes on my desk telling me our server back up is beeping.   Hmmmm…did we talk about it yesterday?  Yes.  Did I call our IT vendor twice?  Yes.   Why are you bothering me?   I do not have short-term memory problems.  

Ok, now picture me writing the above post while screaming every word in my head.   

Next – I Really Don’t Give a Flip

12 Responses to “I Assume Your Lack of Response Means….”

  1. Office1 July 28, 2010 at 11:24 am #

    My favorite IT vendor response to me:

    “Never ever email me directly.”

    Gee..sorry your highness..can I look you in the eyes if you come to fix my computer. What a freaking idiot.

    • livingdilbert July 28, 2010 at 11:44 am #

      “Gee, your highness” – that is funny!!! I may have to use it..with permission, of course.

  2. cooper July 28, 2010 at 11:34 am #

    From the vendor point of view, I’ve had customers tell me, “I don’t do this on the phone. You’ll have to email me.” and never respond to the half dozen emails I send.

    IT vendors, now, this is a different species of vermin altogether. First of all, you have to recognize their lack of social skills, as they’ve been sitting in front of the Nintendo box before they could walk and didn’t have to deal with non-geekspeak vocabulary until well into their 20’s. Hygiene is optional. Blowing their nose in the sink sans tissue is required.

    • livingdilbert July 28, 2010 at 11:44 am #

      I hope I caused no offense. I promise you I’m very nice to vendors unless they start it first! 😦 I just have had a few that call, email and drop by and I try to be polite….

      • cooper July 28, 2010 at 2:37 pm #

        None. Now where’d i put that cyanide…..

  3. Brea July 28, 2010 at 11:55 am #

    “Hey, Sparky! Put down the WoW headphones and help me out here! Your level 110 NightElf Warrior/Mage can handle himself for 10 minutes.”

    Pfaugh. I hate trying to get a response out of vendors. This includes the self-pay insurance person we’re supposed to call with medical insurance stuff. I once had to wait 2 weeks and 4 e-mails later to get a response from her. An un-related response.

    We are actually lucky enough in our branch office to have a really good Assistant Manager that is also one of the IT crew for the company. She’s not “officially” one of the geek-squad vendor people, she’s one of our liasons to them, but she’s pretty knowledgeable about the programs, so we go straight to her first, then SHE decides if it’s a big enough issue to drag the vendor in for it.

  4. Belle July 28, 2010 at 1:24 pm #

    Your mood indicator made me snort coffee out of my nose!

  5. Pkitass July 28, 2010 at 1:51 pm #

    That’s why we keep doggies in the office it keeps the vendors away! Muaa ha ha

  6. Heart of Gold July 28, 2010 at 2:40 pm #

    We are lucky to have a great IT team who have someone in the office here. Your experience sounds ridiculous!! (albeit entertaining. 🙂 )

  7. unabridgedgirl July 28, 2010 at 7:37 pm #

    I completely relate to your number 2. I hate when vendors call and call and call. Seriously? GIVE. IT. UP.

  8. redriverpak July 28, 2010 at 11:26 pm #

    You poor poor woman! I am passing a couple dozen Xanax through your USB port to you….. Use them wisely… 🙂

  9. conveyancing July 30, 2010 at 3:55 pm #

    Lovely! I found this site via bing while tryna rid of weariness. I’m gradually becoming addicted to it. So many stuffs going on at the same time and it’s just like I wanna grab it everything at once. I know I’ll come back for more.

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