The Absurdity of Bad Company Name Changes

3 Aug

Does Corporate America think we are stupid?  They must!  I find it laughable when companies that have been in the public spotlight for bad behavior later decide to change their name as if the bad event never happened and it wasn’t them!   How much do you think that costs?   Plus, companies that have received bailouts, then spend millions on a name change.  Do they think we are not smart enough to remember?

Great examples?

AIG Aviation is now Chartis Aerospace  (I’ll agree they are in outer space)

Comcast is now XFinity (I think XFinity is the amount of time they keep you on hold when you need to place a service request…which is often)

Andersen Consulting is now Accenture  (It only cost them $100 million to try to erase the fact that they were tops in one of the biggest accounting scandals ever)

Phillip Morris is now Altria (Do they think that’ll help people forget that cigarettes are bad for you?)

Based on this ridiculous practice, maybe we should change our law firm name too.   Here are some great new names that come to mind – outside of the ones I’ve suggested in past posts:

Shoulda Tried & Harder Inc.

Had It, But Lost It LLP

No One Pays Us LLC

Teeny Weeny & Nonexistent Peeny LLP

Now for Firm taglines…..ohhh, that should be fun to create later.   Corporate Big Wigs, the facts are pretty simple.  If you are a shitty company and you think changing your name, but not your business practices will help you….then, you are still a shitty company at the end of the day.   Call yourself whatever you want, it doesn’t help.


13 Responses to “The Absurdity of Bad Company Name Changes”

  1. IntrigueMe August 3, 2010 at 11:51 am #

    Oh my goodness, you are hysterical!
    My vote goes to:

    Teeny Weeny & Nonexistent Peeny LLP

  2. shoutabyss August 3, 2010 at 11:57 am #

    General Motors Acceptance Corporation (GMAC Automotive Financing) is now “Ally.” Do they think that will make people forget they are General Motors?

  3. Karyn Bowman August 3, 2010 at 12:28 pm #

    So what would be the tagline? “We really don’t want your business.”

  4. cooper August 3, 2010 at 12:53 pm #

    there’s always Dewey, Cheatem & Howe…

  5. Office1 August 3, 2010 at 2:42 pm #

    i love teeny weeny!!!!

  6. redriverpak August 3, 2010 at 3:03 pm #

    Talk about a Teeny Weeny Peeny fixation! 🙂 Gosh…the poor dude must be a toddler!

    I own stock in Altria….

    But thankfully, not in Teeny Weeny Peeny LLP…..

  7. Pkitass August 3, 2010 at 3:15 pm #

    my vote goes to “Shoulda Tried & Harder Inc.”

  8. MB August 3, 2010 at 4:24 pm #

    I think most firms could use the name Teeny Weeny & Nonexistent Peeny LLP. Cooper beat me to the punch with my old firm’s name – Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.

  9. BigBrother August 3, 2010 at 4:44 pm #

    Another real example is Blackwater USA “rebranding” as Xe Services LLC.

    I think your company should be called “Oxygen Thief Law” with a tagline of,”We are too scared and lazy to be successful. Please leave us alone. “

  10. slightlyignorant August 3, 2010 at 5:52 pm #

    Hahahahaha – I started laughing like crazy at your new company names… Gosh, if you had like an “idea box” in the office, you could drop those names in there! Printed, obviously, so no one will know it was you…

  11. pandainabattlesuit August 4, 2010 at 1:13 am #

    lol, yeah you got me today, laughing at my desk.
    My vote would be No One Pays Us LLC

  12. Belle August 4, 2010 at 11:42 am #

    Mood indicator is hysterical!!!

    Don’t get me started on those name changes. Lousy, blood-suckers. Arrogant little pr**ks. Ugh!

  13. alchiketi August 4, 2010 at 2:19 pm #

    ahh!! i love you LD.

    what name change would you recommend for my Useless so that i could see her in a new light? i think my Useless comes everyday to work with one goal in mind – to PISS ME OFF!

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