The Power of Now

18 Aug

I know, just the mere title alone makes you want to vomit.   Often, when hearing positive type book titles, I roll my eyes and dramatically stick my finger down my throat!   Bleechhh.

However…Bad Boss has been out of the office for a few days and I find myself feeling an odd feeling – happiness.  Plus, after my successful move in with Main Squeeze this past weekend, I’m feeling downright content!   What is Living Dilbert to do?  Well, I think I’ll just be happy in the here and now.   I’m not always so good at that.  I used to be the Master of What Ifs, but I’m working on it.  I am using this rare, peaceful time to do personal things, like cancelling home services and dealing with moving stuff while at work. 

This week’s scenario completely justifies my feelings of hate and anxiety when Bad Boss is here in the office being a total buttwipe.   He’s here – I’m miserable.   He’s not here – I’m happy.   I do not have a Ph.D. in psychology, but even I can read between the lines. 

Bad Boss #2 has been roaming the halls the last day or so like a kitty in a new home that just plain doesn’t know what to do.  He needs to feel important and just can’t seem to without Bad Boss groveling at his feet.  Yesterday, he told me he has clients coming in to town and could I find 6-8 hotel rooms for them and conference space.  Sure, hang on, pull pants down…pull it out of my ass.  What?   We are in a convention city here…it is not as easy as you think.   Oh, that’s right…Bad Boss #2 is also apparently a Director of the Convention and Visitor’s Bureau and knows all about hospitality trends and he says all the hotels are begging for business.  Well, silly sir, I used to be in hotel sales in my early 20s…and you are so wrong!   Thankfully, I pawned this ridiculous task off on Useless Coworker and I’m quite proud of myself about it.

Bad Boss a/k/a Terd Face, returns tomorrow.   He will be angry and stressed.  Speaking of the Power of Now?  Now, I’m going to reset the time on his computer back about 10 minutes.  It’ll drive him mad.

21 Responses to “The Power of Now”

  1. Ody Granados August 18, 2010 at 11:40 am #

    Put a post-it note on the bottom of his mouse, covering the laser/ball. put a snide note on the post-it. Grab two beers, pull the emergency slide, leave. Get a reality TV show.

    • livingdilbert August 20, 2010 at 11:03 am #

      I LIKE this one. He is working himself up to have a total fit today anyway. I might as well have some fun.

  2. Office1 August 18, 2010 at 11:41 am #

    Make sure you set every time piece in his office to a slightly different time. When he looks for verification, he’ll just get more confused. May be his head will explode!

  3. Brea August 18, 2010 at 11:53 am #

    I love the subtlety of changing the time juuuust a little. I like to do this in odd increments, so there’s nothing obvious at first glance. 3 minutes one day, then 2 minutes the next, 7 minutes the following day…etc. until BB starts checking the position of the sun to verify the time, and cries when daylight savings time kicks in.

    Have a great week! Even when he’s there, if you can pretend he’s not, look right through him to the other side!

    • livingdilbert August 20, 2010 at 11:04 am #

      I’ve been using this brilliant tactic of staring through him and it is working a bit!

  4. alcotsirk August 18, 2010 at 11:57 am #

    You know those little squeeze bottles of sour candy juice they sell at the check out isle? Grab one of those, then give that morning coffee a “Welcome back” spritzing.

  5. Belle August 18, 2010 at 12:06 pm #

    I love it! Don’t forget to set it ahead every so often. When BB is back, start the first chapter of what’s sure to be a best seller about your days there. 🙂

    • livingdilbert August 20, 2010 at 11:04 am #

      I like the sound of “best seller” – if only! You’ll be the first to know.

  6. Brooke August 18, 2010 at 12:26 pm #

    Strategically superglue some quarters around the office. Like one in the mens room. Maybe one near his office. One inside his desk drawer. It could be entertaining. For days.

    • livingdilbert August 18, 2010 at 2:04 pm #

      THAT puts the “f” in fantastic!!!   I love it!

    • Pkitass August 18, 2010 at 6:15 pm #

      I second this!

  7. cooper August 18, 2010 at 1:04 pm #

    this could be fun as well…

    Flipping the computer screen 180 degrees

  8. notesfromrumbleycottage August 18, 2010 at 3:15 pm #

    Oh the meanness of all this suggestions are making me laugh too hard. I think the quarter one may be the best of all.

  9. redriverpak August 18, 2010 at 5:05 pm #

    While your in his computer, change the default language to Spanish….. that’ll send him over the edge…. 🙂

  10. bookjunkie August 19, 2010 at 4:51 am #

    resetting his computer sounds amazing!!! great move 🙂

  11. Heart of Gold August 19, 2010 at 12:39 pm #

    I love all the ideas!! LMAO.

    HUGE kudos for passing off the stupid task to Useless Coworker. Double credit since this will most likely interfere with her afternoon nap. 😉

  12. redriverpak August 19, 2010 at 5:08 pm #

    What time does the mail go out? 🙂

    • livingdilbert August 19, 2010 at 5:15 pm #

      THREE THIRTY!!!!! 3:30!! 3:30!!!!!!!! Sorry, my friend….misplaced agression! 🙂

  13. Brea August 19, 2010 at 5:21 pm #

    *snort*

    What time does the air go out of his tires?

  14. jadepaloma August 20, 2010 at 6:05 am #

    You so make my day with your posts! :-))))))) Congratulations on your moving, by the way! I’ve recommended your blog to a very good friend of mine who works at the city hall and has a bad boss which could be the clone of yours! She’s thrilled as never before in her life!

    • livingdilbert August 20, 2010 at 11:06 am #

      Thank you – you made my day with this comment…my week! I’m very glad to find other good souls in the world that share the same pain. Perhaps we can find some comfort in each other! Bad Boss gives me lots to work with…so, there is an unending flow of laughter, I hope (through the tears..)!

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