Time to Start Swinging…

31 Aug

First, hello.  How are you?   A lot has been happening, which I will explain very, very soon!   I started a post about it, but then had an incident that has me hoppin’ mad and is perfect LD material!!!

Oh, the joys of a small law firm where no one has any balls are endless.   Am I the only voice of reason and sanity?  I think so.   Let me tell you, too…Living Dilbert is about to start swinging.  You know, the good ole bar brawl kind of swinging!   What is it today?   Filing space.   EFFING FILING SPACE.

Scenario?  Bad Boss #3 who I think I’ll call “Good Ole Boy” has taken over our office.  Let’s all just admit it – he’s taken over our office and the other two, my boss included, are terrified of him.  Why?  I don’t know.  I guess he has the most cahones.   BB#3 has finally left his old law firm fully, which means he’s moved his years of crap and other failures over to our newly reduced space.  There are boxes everywhere and he is letting his secretary, who I’ll call Rough N Tough, “decorate” our space.  I’m beyond horrified.   Our reception area looks like a GD cat house…and I don’t mean kitty cats.   RnT has brought vases from home that she got at flea markets and has put one on every flat surface in sight.   Good Ole Boy told Bad Boss he “hopes he doesn’t mind if he and RnR did a little redecoratin'” and once Bad Boss reattached his peen…he said “no problem!”   WHAT?  

I find it so amusing some days and downright infuriating other days.  Today it is infuriating to see two secretaries puffing out their chests over a filing drawer because none of the Bad Bosses will make a decision.   It is such a waste of time and energy and one of the 1,456,982 reasons I can’t wait to get the HELL out of this portal to hell.

More on that later…

Thanks for listening.  I’m about to go over there and slam all three of their heads together.  Whoever is still standing when I’m done is welcome to have the filing drawer.

11 Responses to “Time to Start Swinging…”

  1. tryityoumightlikeit August 31, 2010 at 1:23 pm #

    Missed you Dilbert!
    It drives me crazy when people argue about insignificant stuff. Seriously… who cares what brand of paper towels we buy as long as we have some in the office. Of if you are getting free soda it’s not your place to complain that we have the wrong flavor in the fridge. It’s free! If you buy it then you get to choose the flavor.

  2. shoutabyss August 31, 2010 at 1:42 pm #

    Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

    None of them have endless cahones? Did I read that right? Because that hardly seems surprising. 🙂

    “… years of crap and other failures …” Now that is exactly the kind of expressive prose I expect when I visit. Brilliant!

    When you start swinging may I humbly suggest that you punch them in the jeans?

  3. notesfromrumbleycottage August 31, 2010 at 1:43 pm #

    Yowza! Nothing like another blowhard and his secretary to make the smaller office space that much more special. Give’em hell girl!

  4. Jill August 31, 2010 at 1:45 pm #

    You go get ’em LD!!!!

  5. Jenni Engledow August 31, 2010 at 3:31 pm #

    Rough n Tough sounds a little more interesting than Useless even if she is a pain in the ass. I’m picturing her with a big red beehive hair do and a cigarette stuck to her bottom lip as she talks..

  6. cooper August 31, 2010 at 3:38 pm #

    The vases are one thing, but you’ll have to draw the line if RnT breaks out the flocked red velvet wallpaper…

  7. Pkitass August 31, 2010 at 4:55 pm #

    Great to have you back. You should take pictures and post them.

  8. alcotsirk August 31, 2010 at 8:36 pm #

    I see a lot of ‘accidental’ broken vases in the near future. Among other things by the way that new secretary seems.

  9. harlsmits September 1, 2010 at 11:12 am #

    Ooo, pictures of your new bordello office would be great! I once had a boss, I called him the Paranoid Control Freak, who had all his stiff in a filing cabinet behind his desk, which he always kept locked. Occasionally he couldn’t find something in it and he would blame everybody else for taking it, but he was the only one with a key to it! But no, it had too be us, because he’s certainly not inept and unorganized!

  10. redriverpak September 1, 2010 at 9:49 pm #

    Perfect mood indicator pic! 🙂

  11. Heary of Gold September 1, 2010 at 10:32 pm #

    I am So glad you are back! I love calling it the years of crap and other failures. Great pic of the other Three Stooges! This sounds like the start of many more good stories, but I hope it is not too aggravating. Looking forward to the new posts.

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