Top Five Coping Mechanisms

5 Apr

Hi – I’m still here…working away.  Wanted to check in because you all are so damn great.   Each day seems to get a little harder with my dadgum back.  It just insists on feeling like I’ve been pumped full of shotgum pellets and I know rod surgery is in my future!  I’m still dieting and am down…13 pounds!   Lady Surgeon only wanted me to lose 15, so I’m nearly there with 26 days til Decision Day to go!   Yay!   It hasn’t been has been SO busy…life…pain…work…pain…and all the annoying, self-involved asses in this world.   How does Living Dilbert manage to cope?  

Top 5 Living Dilbert Coping Mechanisms

1)  Dreaming of all the things I will eat after my surgery and I’m all gaunt and pale.  No one will have the heart to scold me.  Kind of hoping people will even bring me yummy things to eat.  I have a bucket list of foods I think about on an hourly basis.  

I miss you.

2)  I’m thin.  To all of my allegedly helpful people that constantly gave me back advice and how I should exercise more and to lose a few pounds with their cute little wink and ESPECIALLY to Doris Doomsday who says I’m too obesessed with food – well, bite me.  I’m thinner than you now and you can suck it.

3)  Make myself giggle.  When someone is ugly to me, I go into my teenage boy mode – I snicker about putting poop in their office or actually pooping in their office, on their doorstep, Fedexed to them, etc.   Face it, poop is funny.  However, poop is not funny when someone else does it before I have to go pee pee in our ladies room and it is stinky.

4) Plants vs. Zombies/Words With Friends – hooked.  Such wonderful escape time when I finally get home to bed even when most people whip my butt because I get the worst letters of all time.    Zombies, like poop, are funny. 

Go ahead, eat my brainz.

 5) Positive Attitude – this is a tough one some days.  Thank God, I usually have one about myself when I’m not planning other’s doom and destruction.  I have to chalk the good attitude up to my sweet Mom (who passed away several years ago), I do not know how she did it with all the tough parts about her life and HER back pain which started in her 40s too.  Mom, I know you are with me and it’s helping. 

 Don’t think I’m going all soft now – I still got lots of game.   Peace out.

13 Responses to “Top Five Coping Mechanisms”

  1. shoutabyss April 5, 2012 at 12:22 pm #

    We’re all rooting for you! And I love your top five. Even … wait for it … that list item on the list.

    Whew. Got a little weak there.

    Tell you my tragic back story? Okay. It goes a little something like this. In my former life I had an employer who evilly and utterly DESTROYED my back. Now it gradually gets worse and worse and I don’t have health care (or even a doctor) so surgery is the stuff of fantasy. So I guess my back surgery story isn’t a story at all. It’s a non-story.

    Remember. You asked! 🙂

    Good luck and we’ll see you on the other side!

    • livingdilbert April 5, 2012 at 12:26 pm #

      Damn, that is tragic. I get it. How is your back these days? I SHO am thankful I’m not at the ass-wipe firm anymore….. Piddly, Piddlier and Piddliest would have offered me some duct tape and staples.

      • shoutabyss April 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

        Yesterday I walked to lunch and it started to hurt. I didn’t know if I’d be able to walk back. But I did. 🙂 FTW!

  2. cooper April 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm #

    LMAO at the Doris Doomsday response. Rock on.

  3. Cori April 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    LD is one of my coping mechanisms! Love you and your awesome posts. I am so grateful that you know how funny poop is. Now I am giggling, and I really needed that today!

    How about posting some of the items on your bucket list so we know what to bring you?

  4. thoughtsappear April 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm #

    Congrats on the weight loss, Dilly!

  5. Main Squeeze April 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm #

    You really do amaze me with you positive attitude. Thank you for being so wonderful. I can’t wait to bring you some Mac and Cheese… chocolate ice cream…anything with lots of carbs… You get the idea. Love you.

    • livingdilbert April 5, 2012 at 2:04 pm #

      I must say Main Squeeze has been and is a Rock Star too. Puts up with my pain and moods and silliness and still seems to love me. Amazing. I’m pretty damn lucky.

  6. yellowcat April 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm #

    I think vomitting is the funniest thing in the world. Just thinking about it makes my body spasm in a giggle fest. Well, as long as someone else is doing it. It’s not funny at all if I’m doing it.

    Sending poop or pooping in someone’s office is probably funnier than sending barf or barfing in their office.

    • livingdilbert April 6, 2012 at 11:54 am #

      Vomiting can be funny – this book I just read: “Scoliosis Surgery: A Patient’s Definitive Reference” (doesn’t that sound snappy) said I’ll probably vomit several times after surgery and they made it sound nearly cheerful. They liked using the word “vomit” in sentences.

      The words “body spasm in a giggle fest” made me laugh!

  7. notesfromrumbleycottage April 17, 2012 at 3:44 pm #

    I am sorry to hear you are in that kind of pain. It really sucks. My pain is all in my feet. I hate getting up in the morning but one must, must do it.

  8. Jenni April 29, 2012 at 12:15 pm #

    Back pain sucks and I’m sorry you’re in pain. How’s the new job? I hope Waayyy better than the last one. Congrats on the weight loss – that is awesome! I hope the surgery makes a big difference for you.

    Looking forward to your next posts – I miss them!

  9. Kate Richmond May 10, 2012 at 6:06 am #

    I love your blog! Good luck with your back – does not sound fun, you poor thing.. keep blogging through the pain! Can I link you on my blog & VV? Check me out at:

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