Change Bugs Me

8 Jul

Its finally sinking in that I’ve really experienced a LOT of change in my life in the last few months.  I don’t like change – it actually usually results in me becoming a raving bitch.  The biggest change lately for anyone that has kept up is my new neck – resulting from not 1, but 2 fusions in a 9 week period.  Guess what?  My body didn’t like it either! 

So, I now have 17 discs in my spine fused and I can still kick ass (but, in new ways).  Let’s just say I’m on sabbatical from my delightful life as a big firm legal secretary.  Big change – what the fuck do I do??? Well, my job now is mainly to keep healing!  Huh?  I’ve put others before myself for..uh, since age 4!  

I’m learning to LET GO of control of everything.  It’s a daily battle.  I couldn’t drive for 5 months, so I feel I’m just getting my wings.  Listen people, don’t take shit like driving and your everyday independence for granted!   If I had to paint a picture…it’d be me as a butterfly, but I’m still just about three-fourths out of my cocoon.  I met a friend for coffee yesterday and ran 2 errands blasting my music in the car and I must say, I thought, “Holy shit, this is cool! I’m out and about and listening to music on a beautiful day at 10:30 in the morning! “. I’ve never experienced such freedom  – being free in the day ?  A BIG CHANGE.  At first, I felt lost, but I’m coming around.

Ok, other changes that throw Living Dilbert into a tizz?

  • Main Squeeze doing any type of furniture moving or even bringing it up..at all;
  • A show I love ends;
  • A restaurant or shop I love closes;
  • The trend in Atlanta currently to mow everything familiar down and build a mixed-use development (stop it!!!);
  • Law firm I love being acquired and turned into a whole new something corporate;
  • When friends move away; 
  • Rosie Perez’s bittersweet goodbye on The View (stop it, The View!!!); and
  • If Life-Saving Therapist EVER tells me she’s retiring!

So, it’s a whole new world out there – did you know that? Life has really changed from 5 years ago and in a way I never expected or planned. Remember, life CAN and WILL sometimes change on a dime.  Put on your damn seatbelt.  Care to join me on my new adventures?  I’ll still have my rants that I hope you can not only identify with, but get a good chuckle as well.  I still promise snark, yet sometimes a glimpse of heart-felt feelings like today.  I’m not totally made of ice!  

Ok, now a nap.  Who AM I??  I guess we’ll find out together.  

Please let me introduce you to my new neck – ain’t it swell?

 

13 Responses to “Change Bugs Me”

  1. Main Squeeze July 8, 2015 at 12:12 pm #

    LD – I am SO proud of you. You have amazing strength, courage and determination! (Oh, and I hope you don’t mind that I moved that dresser…) πŸ˜‰

    • livingdilbert July 8, 2015 at 1:15 pm #

      ACK! You said it’d be MY dresser! I noticed it mysteriously moved to the great room to become your Zen spot. Nice thing to do to a girl while I napped. Thank you for your constant love and support….thank God, that has NOT changed!

  2. YayMoreGray July 8, 2015 at 12:20 pm #

    Your neck is quite Terminatorish. You wear it well. πŸ™‚ Don’t worry LD we will love you no matter what or who you write/cuss about. Unless it involves significant writing about moving furniture. Shudder.

  3. YayMoreGray July 8, 2015 at 12:38 pm #

    Oh yeah kindly refrain from discussing naps. Or tell us not to read until our work time has ended, not that we could ever get a nap then either God Forbid!! OK continue on. πŸ˜› hijacker done.

    • livingdilbert July 8, 2015 at 1:12 pm #

      Ha ha! I wondered if that’d make anyone jealous….however, would you wanna go thru what I have to get to take a nap? Want to trade? I bet not! Yes, I pulled out the big guns on that one. Just picture me getting fat or something….(but, I’m not…). πŸ˜”. When I have more stamina, which has been quite slow to build, I may try to rent myself out for housewife duties (except THAT!)….but, Main Squeeze has loved my bit of errand running. You’re talking to a chick that would go months at work not seeing the light of day! It’s so weird! I feel like a newborn baby in the world….
      Please still like me, Yay…..

      • YayMoreGray July 8, 2015 at 1:20 pm #

        Well now describing THAT would be quite entertaining!!! Though probably against the rules of etiquette they just sent out. πŸ˜› I have a new teenager, you have to do a lot more than talk of taking naps to upset me enough to not like you anymore!!! πŸ™‚ ❀ Can't insert it here but found a perfect picture of Rudolph I was waiting to post LOL!!!

  4. lindysw July 8, 2015 at 1:40 pm #

    You are wonderful and inspiring. That x-ray of your dear neck is startling and generated empathic tingling on the back of my knees.

    • livingdilbert July 8, 2015 at 1:50 pm #

      Thank you! It’s good to hear. I’m sorry I gave you bad tingles though. You should see the X-ray of my back from 3 years ago! Thanks for reading – it means a lot!

  5. G. R. Hambley July 8, 2015 at 4:46 pm #

    And just where did you get the idea you were in control?

    Naps are good and not to wasted on the young!

    As someone who has suffered from chronic pain for more than 26 years and turning down fusion in the thoracic area, I feel for you.

    And another thing, Canadians do not say oot and aboot. That notion came from some dumb ass, probably American who can’t spell. Yeah, sure tell me you can spell.

    Feel better soon. Yes I understand better is relative and not fixed. Most people don’t understand this concept of better.

  6. Jen July 9, 2015 at 1:07 pm #

    Glad to see you’re getting your swerve back on with the independence! I know how hard it is to be dependent on others & to have to ask for help. Being such an “I-do-it-myself” chick, I almost developed a stutter when I had to ask for help when I broke my ankle! I can’t imagine 5 months of not being able to drive myself places.

    Say…you should be getting free HBO at least with the hardware in that neck of yours.

    • livingdilbert July 9, 2015 at 11:27 pm #

      And with the hardware in my back, I should get channels from other countries! That was a good one!!! I’m totally getting my drive on whenever I want. I love driving. I so almost got rear ended the other day by a woman in a van going about 50. Wasn’t her fault…a police guy suddenly pulled into an intersection with lights only to stop traffic far a funeral and we had no warning and a green light, so all of us slammed on our brakes…I slid and she had to avoid me. I thanked her. Poor dude next to me got rear ended. I thanked lady for her quick reflexes. Man, it would have really trashed my neck work. I felt thankful. I’m going to work on the antennae thing. God, what if I’m a walking lightning rod????

      • Jen July 9, 2015 at 11:30 pm #

        Rubber shoes…

  7. William Mosby July 9, 2015 at 9:14 pm #

    Wow, that has to be a record number of fusions. I’m turning 66 this month. About 6 months ago I experienced a painful episode of stenosis involving the left-side nerve roots at C-5, C-6, and C-7. I have been lucky enough to get it controlled for the time being with physical therapy. I went through the same thing with my lower back about two years ago and PT also controlled it and continues to. I do about 1 hour of exercises every morning, plus my usual stationary bike and weight training. At some point it is inevitable that I will undergo fusion, but hopefully not for at least 5 years, the neurosurgeon tells me. I feel your pain, though (in my lower back only), every morning when I get up. Exercises fix me right up, usually.

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