Cast of Characters

Living Dilbert – Me!  I also may sometimes refer to myself as Office Hack, Bad Boss’ Bitch or She Who Is Doomed. For more answers about Living Dilbert, please see the FAQs page.   I’m in my mid-40s by the way..sometimes I think I sound like I’m about 75.

[working on new Boss/Coworker profiles since I am in a new job – still great characters to be listed]

Main Squeeze – My number one love.  Still wonderful and supportive and patient.

Big Brother – My sweet and supportive big brother and last surviving family member who I adore beyond words.

Life-Saving Therapist – Incredible, incredible therapist that I thank God I found 9 years ago.  She’s a great listener, wise, funny and wonderful.   (and she likes the blog!)   How cool is that?

Kick-Ass Coworker – Finally, all my prayers and willingness to sell my soul paid off.  The last couple years of work at Big Law Firm, I was lucky as hell to get to know this chick.  She has all the right things – helpful as hell, recognizes a crazy right away, gives a shit about the job she does and overall wonderful, not to mention her gift of snark.  Perfect coworker that I’m also proud to call friend.  Ok, don’t get all misty-eyed.  

Twatwaffle – The single worst of all time coworker of my entire career. Whines continuosly, pumps you for info unless you know better, Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde on steroids. Never know what you are going to get each hour. Will scream at people freely when she feels dissed. Overall complete lazy, constantly entitled victim, #1 Asshole.

Pygmy – Twatwaffle’s main partner boss. Sweaty, short as hell, balding, steals credit from other good partners for his own benefit, prick, takes a crap daily while working on revisions and then hands them to secretaries to do his work. His work is always first (in his own mind). LD extremely dislikes this partner and I gave him a chance to be decent for 5 years. His continued unhealthy love/hate relationship with Twatwaffle continues to ruin a formerly brilliant practice group at a formerly great firm.

12 Responses to “Cast of Characters”

  1. cooper May 11, 2010 at 10:41 pm #

    maybe a mega-shredder strategically placed near UC’s desk…show her how to re-enact the wood-chipper scene from Fargo

  2. bookjunkie May 14, 2010 at 12:27 am #

    My coworker at my first job was an absolute angel and she became my very close friend as well. But as I got older….I had a string of bad luck recently and only met absolutely bitchy people at work who totally excelled at one thing – sucking up to the boss (yucks) and making my life hell.

  3. bookjunkie May 17, 2010 at 2:17 pm #

    I hope your life gets made into a movie one day. That would be so cool! I’ll be the first to line up for a ticket.

    • livingdilbert May 17, 2010 at 3:39 pm #

      Thank you so much! That’s the nicest thing anyone has said! I think it could be a pretty damn funny movie….with parts that require kleenex too.

      • tryityoumightlikeit July 2, 2010 at 8:54 am #

        I agree about the movie. Hilarious and relate-able. Everyone knows at least one co-worker just like the ones you describe. Those kind of people are everywhere so they way you’ve chosen to turn them into entertainment is awesome.

  4. redriverpak May 18, 2010 at 2:25 pm #

    Congrats! I see you roared past the 10,000 milestone! Keep up the great work!

  5. Cymbria May 27, 2010 at 3:52 pm #

    Awesome, just awesome. I can just see that coworker of yours perched on her blue throne lol

  6. chefyourself August 9, 2010 at 11:01 am #

    I swear I think I know you! Good to know misery really does love company.

  7. The Fashion Clones February 21, 2012 at 12:45 am #

    LOL. Very cool blog. Just stumbled upon your blog, ahem life, looking for themes to use and like you, I work in a big law firm with the craziest bosses, attorneys and co-workers. All i could do was laugh when reading some of your posts! So i subscibed because how wierd is it that someone is going through the same thing as me EVERYDAY! lol! Keep it up! Love it! Couldnt find on your blog where to send you feedback of messages so did it here.

  8. Nick Smith June 6, 2015 at 9:27 pm #

    What happened to you?

    • livingdilbert June 10, 2015 at 12:30 pm #

      How do you mean? Mentally or physically? If physical…I had scoliosis as a kid and it was caught late at 15. I wore a very attractive (not) full back brace my first 2 years of high school. Helped the curve giving me many great years. At 45, my back went out and long story, but it was decided I needed scoliosis surgery at 46! I had 13 discs fused and 2 titanium rods put in my back. Fine for 2 years, but then developed 4 bad discs in my neck. Had an anterior (from the front) neck disc fusion. 6 week check up showed 2 screws coming out…so I had to have a posterior neck fusion (much harder!!!). So, now I have 17 discs in my spine. I’m 49 with an 85 year old spine per my surgeon! I hope that helps explain! I’ve been a legal secretary in big firms for ages….so, now I’m on sabbatical til I heal fully. I like being snarky about corporate life. It IS often a comedy.

  9. G. R. Hambley June 12, 2015 at 12:23 pm #

    It occurs to me that Therapists reading blogs is equivalent to why art is created.

    I think I’m going to have to put in an addendum!

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