Tag Archives: health

New Year, New Life

10 Feb

I’m back.  Is anyone there?   Allow me to re-introduce myself….I am the new and improved Living Dilbert.   It’s been a rough few years, blah, blah…I know we all experience them.   Let’s just say I went from near emotional death, to near physical death, to disability and HELL, I fought my ass back into the world of the living.   If I am anything, it is determined.

Try to stop me.

I’m back at my amazing law firm where I began my career when I was a tiny, Living Dilbert baby.   Didn’t know anything, but I faked it and learned as I went.  Although I’m snarky, I do think I was put back here (thank GOD) for a reason.  The reason has yet to be determined, but I’m honestly coming back to life.   I’m walking, talking, cursing, snarking and working hard doing the job I love.   Will I still have plenty of corporate America, law firm stories and observations?   Honey, there is NO end to them!   I work with great people, but I’ve saved a lot of material in the last few years.

I’ll eventually change my cast of characters a bit….let’s just say there’s been some changes.  We’ll get to that.  I promise.   It seemed best to stop in and say hello and get comfy in my new digs again….with myself and I’m doing that.  You know what saying helped me so much when I was curled into the fetal position seeing no way out of my huge mess?   “Fall down seven times, stand up eight (mother fucker)!”

Trust me, a troubled soul makes for some damn good writing.  God, I’ve missed this.  Please stick with me….you won’t regret it.

Next:  Top 10 Things I Learned from Daytime TV

 

 

Diets Sadden Me

14 Feb

Back update and I know health stuff can be tiring, but you have my word that I’ll keep it funny (I hope you think so!)   – Found the perfect surgeon – a woman, and she’s amazing.  I was in awe my last appointment as she used all the words regarding adult idiopathic scoliosis that I know so well.  I have found the ONE.   However, it isn’t all romance and kisses.  She looked at me and matter of factly stated – “Blah, blah, blah, probable surgery, 46 degrees…blah, and then looked me right in the eye and told me that I must lose 15 lbs.  Pardon?  I even looked behind me…but, she was talking to me.  “It will be good for your back and even better if we go forward with surgery…”   I heard many things my last appointment, but this one is sticking out like a fricking neon sign in the desert.   Doesn’t she realize that when my back feels like I’ve been shot by a 12-guage that I need a chili dog with cheese?   I need those crispy perfect little tater tots?  I hung my head. 

Life can be tough, but I have to suck it up.  It is ironic that the ONE thing (besides Main Squeeze) that brings me so much joy is being removed from the picture for quite some time.  You don’t understand, I love to eat badly.  I eat like a guy to the delight of most of my friends.   I try to like healthy stuff, but after 46 years…that probably ain’t gonna change.  Sigh. 

This weekend I attended a 3 year old’s birthday party.  It was so precious, but all I could think was “For the love of God, can’t some kid bring in a Happy Meal?”  I envisioned knocking them aside and stealing all the contents.  Hey, I’d give them the toy.   I push the ugliness aside and smile sweetly as I have yet another slice of cucumber and want to puke in my mouth.

Being a responsible grown up is hard sometimes, isn’t it?   I want to stamp my feet and cry til I get a tater tot!