Tag Archives: male bosses

Refresh and Renew

10 Jul

Thank GOD…we made it to Saturday !  Are you all celebrating?  I’m going to…I’m going to celebrate the fact that I have washed the stench of this morgue off me for two whole days!  

We’ve got some crazy stuff going on at work.  As I said a few weeks ago, the building didn’t love Bad Bosses idea of not paying our rent anymore and playing “hardball” with them, so they are taking back 1/2 our space!   I find it downright amusing watching Bad Boss’ stew about the fact that they have to move a lot of their crap.   Of course on Friday they started looking at me about what they should do.  Bad Boss got so nervous he ran home with his little tail tucked between his legs at 2:30.  He sure disproves the real meaning of, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”  He’s interpreted that to mean, “run for your  life and shirk all responsibility!”   I think the next few weeks are going to provide some excellent posts!

So, on that note….eff them and their move and their crappy business and their crappy, self-serving attitudes for the weekend!   Bad Boss, who?   It’s time for me to relax, recharge and rejoice.  They can all kiss my shiney hiney.

Tomorrow – I’m Not Going Outside Until October

Pull This Out of Your Ass, Will You?

8 Apr

People, I bet this has happened to you…perhaps you’ve just not come up with a catch phrase for it.  Best Friend and I like to use the words, “Hey, pull this out of your ass, will you?” amongst ourselves when a Bad Boss asks you to do an impossible task with absolutely no prior notice.   Hmmm….an example of this would be when a Bad Boss approaches you at 12:15 to ask you to order lunch for 15 to be delivered five minutes ago.  Keep in mind you asked him the day before if he wanted to order lunch for this meeting and he said no.  Last time I checked, we are not a Subway.  I do not bake bread each morning, I just figuratively wipe butts.  Another example, “Hey, can you make this document do such and such?”  No, I can’t …the technology has not even been invented to do what you ask.   Apparently, if a lawyer has seen something done once in their entire lifetime, they think you can miraculously do the same exact task on the spot – no matter of your software, technical ability, number of staff on-hand, whether or not you have a mailroom, unlimited funds, etc.  It can be quite frustrating.  Better yet, is having a Bad Boss that will not take “no” for an answer.  Bad Boss does that all the time – maybe he thinks I’m playing the part of First Officer Riker on the old Star Trek Next Generation and he just stands towering over my desk like Captain Picard and says “Make it so.”  Well, this ain’t Hollywood, ass face.

Best Friend has an ideal response to such absurdity that she has used in the past and it is classic.  It goes like this – when Bad Boss comes to you with an impossible task that he uncaringly thinks you can just pull from your ass, proceed to look at him while seated, lean to one side to clearly lift a butt cheek up from your chair and slowly look at your butt, look at him, look at your butt, then look him in the eye and say “Really?!?”   It usually shuts them up for a bit.  Try it if you dare.

Tomorrow – How to Pass the Time in a Failing Business

Bad Male Office Habits

27 Mar

I work with a lot of male lawyers and always have – they have some distinct habits, all of them unpleasant.   So I don’t sound totally bitchy, I will say this is not all men….just more than the majority.

1) Taking the front desk newspaper to the bathroom to read while pooing.   Sirs, UCK.  Do you think we don’t notice when you come by the reception desk, give us a hearty hello, pick  up the newspaper and then walk to the bathroom in plain view, come back in 20 minutes clearly pleased with yourselves (with folded newspaper in hand) and then put it BACK ON THE RECEPTION DESK?!   We don’t want to see it, touch it, (God help us…catch a whiff of it), think about it – we want it no where near us!   Could you try to be a little more subtle?

2) Dishes in sink.  Ok, I’m not sure if you noticed, but we are a small law firm and do not have our own housekeeping department to come behind you and clean up your mess.   It is demeaning.  We really hate it when you put a half-eaten plate of food by or in the sink…do you think elves come and clean it off or do you think the plate mysteriously cleans itself?  It doesn’t, rocket scientist.

3) Leave empty soda 12-packs in fridge.   I don’t know about you, but I have personally realized that if you don’t put shit in the fridge, it won’t be there for you to drink later.  The entire supply of sodas and waters is about 5 feet from your head by the fridge…if you drink the last soda (you can take notes if needed here), throw out the empty carton (that’d be the one with nothing in it) and put in a new one.  Please contact me if you need instructions on how to open said 12-pack.

4) Walk down the hallway farting.  Yes, we hear you and it is disgusting as hell.  Stop it.

I’ll close with four today…it is the weekend after all.   I just find it continually amazing that these guys cannot, will not, do anything for themselves – anything.   If you work in an office, sirs, just once in a while try to heed one of the above-referenced suggestions and you will be a rock star to the staff.   If not, we’ll just continue to think you are an inconsiderate bastard and talk about what an inconsiderate bastard you are behind your back.

Tomorrow  – “What Do You Mean You Want a Day Off?”