Tag Archives: vacation

Main Squeeze reporting in

6 Nov

Hi LD fans — I felt that you all needed an update…

Living Dilbert is getting used to Living Life again!  YAY – with Bad Bosses out of the picture, we are able to enjoy life with a cup half full feeling.  Actually, what you all may not know is that Living Dilbert is a “cup half full” kind of gal.  But not with Bad Boss #1, #2, and #3 sucking the life out of her good disposition.

Let me fill you in on her recent full of life activities: she started her new job and is working her ass off –AND loving it!  We have just finished an awesome vacation — we ate at yummy restaurants, spent time with friends, saw a show, shopped, read and just chilled.  All this because Bad Boss #1 was not around to give her excuses as to why this wouldn’t be a good week for him for LD to take her vacation!

And as I sit here – knowing that I don’t have her gift of gab — LD wants you to know how much she appreciates you and still enjoys reading your blogs.

Not Giving In Just Yet…

27 Jun

Enjoying my last glass of fruity summer wine…even cherishing my 4 million mosquito bites.   LONG drive home yesterday and I’m so proud in that I didn’t get too depressed.   Got home late last night, ordered Chinese with Main Squeeze and slept hellishly late today.  

Sigh….it’s coming.  You know what.   Monday morning after vacation.   I was hoping one of my yellow fly bites (I saw it bite me) would turn into some kind of Yellow Fever or I’d develop blood poisoning, but this damn immune system of mine is not hearing of it.  

I’m tan and I haven’t worn makeup in seven whole days.   Hell, I didn’t even shower one or more of the days.  It was so eye-opening.  Cherish your vacation days.  Cherish THEM.  Thankfully, I did.  I was very present for every second.   So thankful I could go on vacation and spend it with Main Squeeze’s incredible family.   They were so good to me and they are an amazing family.  It makes a happy lump in Living Dilbert’s throat just to think about it.  As much as I hate Bad Bosses and they do unspeakable things to me often….I’m a very lucky woman.  

Good news…I’ll be back to my old self in a day or so!

Tomorrow – Reporting from the Front Lines (will do post when I arrive to work…should be quite frank….)

Holding Off the Inevitable

26 Jun

My mood is slowly starting to shift.   I push the thoughts out of my head the moment they appear.   Vacation is drawing to a close and I have to begin the trek back to reality today.  

I’m going to enjoy every last second and I’ve begun a mental list of things to look forward to upon return to the Big City.  I miss my kitties.  

Ending vacation is painfully similar to the oil crisis.  How?   It occurred to me that as we begin to wrap up our vacation…and it has been so beautiful here, that the men in the yellow vests are appearing on the beach today.  Coincidence?  Probably, but it is certainly ending the vacation on a painful note.   As we leave our paradise, the reality of this oil situation has permeated our fantasy world.   There is no holding off the oil any longer.  It is coming.  Nothing can stop it and it is painfully destructive.

We have been enjoying the water and the white sand and ignoring any thoughts of oil  or tar balls or Bad Bosses.  But out of the corner of our eyes, they sneak up on us and ruin everything!

I’ll try and pretend for a bit longer that the oil is far off shore and that the BP fools have come up with some answer to the awful mess they have created.  At the same time, I dream that I have an extra week of vacation and that I don’t have to be back at the office for another 7 days — plus July 4th!  Oh man — there is a small light at the end of the tunnel — a three day weekend is not far off in the distance.  Maybe BP will come up with a plan…not holding my breath, but holding out hope, at least.

When It Rains, We Pour

25 Jun

Solving problems while on vacation is so much easier than in real life.  Do you think it is because the pressure is so much less?  There are no career-ending decisions on vacation.  NO having to please an unreasonable boss.  It has been SO damn nice to deal with vacation dilemmas rather than Bad Boss problems….I almost feel like a different person.   I will say I had a nightmare about Bad Boss last night though so my subconscious must be trying to rid itself of that asswipe.

Problem-solving on vacation?

– While at the beach in any coastal town…there is usually a thunderstorm at least once a day.  Hell, just come inside and start the wine.  Hence, when it rains, we pour.

– Family having a squabble?   Go get yourself a cold beer from the fridge, a quiet corner and a good book.

– Sunburn and bug bites got you down?  Go shopping.  New underwear and sandals will make you feel lots better.   If the beach area has a good outlet mall….even better.   You can walk around for hours and forget all time and space.

– You know what else makes Living Dilbert feel better when it rains?  A giant 42″ flat screen television in the bedroom, a ceiling fan and our own bathroom.  Sweet!

– For a last resort when in a moody quandary?   Pastries and coffee.  Vacation is the perfect excuse to eat whatever you want, whenever you want.   Hot damn!

Tomorrow – Holding Off the Inevitable

Things Discovered at the Beach

24 Jun

Today I was able to sit on the beach for about three hours with Main Squeeze and it was fascinating.  

Did you all know there is a whole other world out there outside of work?  Why didn’t anyone TELL me?!  I get so wrapped up in dealing with the dipshits…that I forget there is a big, beautiful, amazing world out there.  Just listening to the waves and breathing in the sea air….better than anything else in a long time.   I did make some realizations.

– Some dads, not all of them, remind me of Bad Boss.  They just sit there in their chair and the sweet wife does all the work with their kids….and she never gets to sit down or get any rest.  Shouldn’t it be a team effort?

– People with beautifully sculpted bodies really are pretty amazing.  I’m not talking about the kind of bodies that are enhanced with fake stuff either.  Just the people that work hard and treat their bodies quite well.  It is not something you see super often…at least not where I am.  I always dreamed that would be me walking down the beach…but, it isn’t.  So, I admire the ones that are stunning – men, women, whoever. 

– PAY the extra money to rent the beach chairs and umbrella…totally worth it.  You ARE on vacation, you know.

– Tiny children do not seem to mind eating sand.

-Swimming and jumping in the waves is still fun.  Finding nasty-ass seaweed clumps inside your bathing suit later is not.

– There is nothing like the feeling of a cool shower after a long, hot day at the beach.  If only all things in life were so easily solved.  

Tomorrow – When It Rains, We Pour

Things Living Dilbert Learned from “Happy Feet”

23 Jun

Living Dilbert is on vacation with an incredible family that with all the brothers and sisters…have 6 children. It was inevitable that I’d have to watch some kid movies.  My God…Happy Feet.  I was mesmerized:

Lessons Learned from Happy Feet:

1- Humans are bad, which I already knew. Most are greedy bastards that could give a crap about the environment or anything else.

2-Penguins are very cute…especially Pixar ones.

3- Being different is not a bad thing.  You just have to learn how to get others to “see” you.

4- Like Bad Bosses,crotchety old men in power are often not right.  They are not open to new ideas that could help them and would rather starve than try anything new and outside their old crusty thought patterns.

5- One fearless spirit can make a huge difference in the world.

I’m getting soft on vacation and almost got a lump in my throat just typing this.   Don’t worry though.   I’ll be quite ugly-acting as the vacation winds to a close.  

Tomorrow – Things Discovered at the Beach

Things Overheard at the Beach

22 Jun

I should have said, “Things Overhead on Vacation.”   So far:

– “There’s not enough vodka in my Appletini.”

– “I didn’t drink enough last night.”

– “God, I love soap operas.”

– “The social commentary in “Happy Feet” is quite profound.”

– “Hurry up!  Where are you?!  Get to the pool because we have two chairs saved for you.”

– “The yogurt place is only open for another hour….we must leave now!”

Notice these don’t have the same sharp edge as regular  Living Dilbert…but, I am with a different and far more loving crowd!

Tomorrow – What Living Dilbert Learned from “Happy Feet”


21 Jun

Folks, I’m sorry that I have been delinquent.  It was not my plan!   I’ve been at a secret locaton in which I did not have internet for two days…but, all is good in the world now!   I AM officially on vacation and I didn’t have to kill anyone or commit any major crimes to do so…and, I’m still employed.  How lucky am I?

In honor of vacation:

V – Vacated the offices of Bad Bosses, baby!

A – Assholes?  None in sight!

C – Cocktails – Noon is not too early, is it?

A – Away from stupid questions for an entire week!

T – Too much froth in my morning latte?  I don’t think so.  

I – I am IN LOVE with not being in the office.

O – Oh….if only I was independently wealthy…sigh.

N – No need for makeup or suits for 7 days!

Tomorrow – Things Overheard at the Beach

What Do You Mean You Want a Day Off?!

28 Mar

Why is it that when I ask for a day off, Bad Boss seems to think I am speaking Arabic?   “You want what?”  Yes, I know it is hard to comprehend, but I’m actually not an android programmed for your mere existence…to always be here, to stay one step ahead of you, to read your mind, to anticipate your every need, and to never fail you.   I am merely human.  Sometimes I have a life and therefore would like to take a day off for something you are not aware of – rest and relaxation, a/k/a enjoyment.  One time I asked a Bad Boss off for one mere day (it had been several months since my last day off) and he said “no” before I could finish my sentence – PARDON??   He told me I could not have the day off unless I could get our giant law firm to personally guarantee that they’d put a fill-in at my desk solely to answer his phone in case it rang.  I was so furious I went back to my desk and fought back tears.  Now, of course, I am more jaded and would not hesitate to begin plotting my revenge on his soul and how to ruin his law practice. Luckily for me and as predicted, he did that all on his own later.  The only people that even called that bastard were his father and whatever dates he hooked after trolling a dating service all day while at work.  

Bosses, give your hard working employees a day off sometimes.  I don’t mean the usual employees that take every day off they can possibly cram into a year without hesistation and then some…I mean the ones that really are there for you day in and day out over the years.  Don’t question them about why they need it off, don’t groan, don’t do loud sighs, don’t be a pouty baby about it the rest of the day – again, you are shouting to the world just what an ass you are.  Just give them a quick smile, say “no problem” and tell them to have a great day.  You’d be amazed at the work productivity and loyalty you’d get in return. 

Tomorrow – “Lawyer Pissing Contests”