Ok, we all know it happens….rogue nose hairs. I noticed one this morning when I was doing my usual make up application so that I don’t look so damn tired and 150 years old. It’s a process, people. While dabbing on this and that, my tired eyes spotted it – the rogue nose hair. Upon closer inspection, there it was – in plain sight and it did not want to go back into the nostril! I cajoled it and told it I’d deal with it later, but it kept popping out. I knew it must be dealt with or I was in for a long day. Sure enough, in rushing to get to work I had forgotten about my new friend. On the glorious drive to work (because this is the ONE good traffic week a year) I did a final spot check of my appearance…and DAMN, there it was! The same nose hair was proudlly gleaming at me and I’d forgotten to clip it! NOW WHAT?? Great, I’m going to have to get some work scissors and find a quiet spot with a mirror to try to get it. If not, I’ll spend all day wondering if people are looking at me in conversation or “it.” Ladies, you know it happens! Men, well….maybe not so much. I’ve spotted many of you that do not seem to care if you have several rogue nose hairs. Let me tell you…it makes it really hard to concentrate on what you are saying when they are just staring at us begging to be trimmed! God forbid when there is stuff attached to them too. I shudder at the thought.
Do yourself a favor, when and if you spot that pesky, rogue nose hair in the mornings – STOP IT, CLIP IT, RID YOURSELF OF THE BURDEN then and there. Don’t put it off like me. I’ll be tucking that sucker back in all day!
Hope you all had a fantastic holiday – we have a LOT to catch up on together.
Tags: appearance, blog, corporate humor, corporate life, humor, living dilbert, make up, random, women, work
Doris Doomsday
17 JanI’m afraid Living Dilbert has been having back problems resulting from a late dose of teenage idiopathic scoliosis that left me with a 40 degree curve. I know, I know…you are already bored, so I’ll try to make this quick. Basically, I’m 46 and now have the spine of an 80 year old and the mother fucker has been hurting – a lot, for 7 months. I’ve tried it all – selective nerve root blocks, steriod injections, radio frequency lesioning…uh…acupuncture, cupping and the list goes on and on. Unfortunately, it ain’t working. There’s a very good chance Living Dilbert will be getting cut and fused in the near future. Do I like it? Hell, no. Am I terrified? Yes. Am I wearing down from being in pain nearly 20 hours a day? Oh, hell, yes. Thank GOD, I like this job and the people so much and it has allowed me to continue to work, even though many days I drag my left leg down the hall, resemble Quasimodo with my grunts and drool (no humpback…but you get the facial implications of constant pain). Hey, I can still walk -that’s a huge plus!
Now that you have the background…I can write many posts on this and try to keep it amusing! Anyway, I told a lady here at work that I probably would be getting surgery…mistake. The first thing she tells me is that of the two people that she knows of that had back surgery, they were both ultimately paralyzed and one died. (Language disclaimer) Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Why the fuck would she tell me that? Oh, the same reason some other guy tells me that he had the surgery about 155 years ago and that his back is about to fall out. Terrific, just the thing to cheer me!
Folks, I know none of you do this. For any of you that may know someone who does, for the love of God PEOPLE, if someone shares with you…do not tell them how someone died from it, or pooped in their pants the rest of their lives or anything similar! Put a GD gag in your mouth and fricking think before you speak!
Living Dilbert is inches away from punching the next one who does this to me in the face. I will simply blame my powerful pain meds.
Tags: back pain, blog, commentary, complain, coworkers, humor, living dilbert, rant, stupid, work, work life