Hi – I’m still here…working away. Wanted to check in because you all are so damn great. Each day seems to get a little harder with my dadgum back. It just insists on feeling like I’ve been pumped full of shotgum pellets and I know rod surgery is in my future! I’m still dieting and am down…13 pounds! Lady Surgeon only wanted me to lose 15, so I’m nearly there with 26 days til Decision Day to go! Yay! It hasn’t been easy..work has been SO busy…life…pain…work…pain…and all the annoying, self-involved asses in this world. How does Living Dilbert manage to cope?
Top 5 Living Dilbert Coping Mechanisms
1) Dreaming of all the things I will eat after my surgery and I’m all gaunt and pale. No one will have the heart to scold me. Kind of hoping people will even bring me yummy things to eat. I have a bucket list of foods I think about on an hourly basis.
2) I’m thin. To all of my allegedly helpful people that constantly gave me back advice and how I should exercise more and to lose a few pounds with their cute little wink and ESPECIALLY to Doris Doomsday who says I’m too obesessed with food – well, bite me. I’m thinner than you now and you can suck it.
3) Make myself giggle. When someone is ugly to me, I go into my teenage boy mode – I snicker about putting poop in their office or actually pooping in their office, on their doorstep, Fedexed to them, etc. Face it, poop is funny. However, poop is not funny when someone else does it before I have to go pee pee in our ladies room and it is stinky.
4) Plants vs. Zombies/Words With Friends – hooked. Such wonderful escape time when I finally get home to bed even when most people whip my butt because I get the worst letters of all time. Zombies, like poop, are funny.
5) Positive Attitude – this is a tough one some days. Thank God, I usually have one about myself when I’m not planning other’s doom and destruction. I have to chalk the good attitude up to my sweet Mom (who passed away several years ago), I do not know how she did it with all the tough parts about her life and HER back pain which started in her 40s too. Mom, I know you are with me and it’s helping.
Don’t think I’m going all soft now – I still got lots of game. Peace out.
220 Days
28 DecIt has been 220 days. Hard to believe.
Let’s pick up where I left off before my life changed horribly. I had lost my weight and was getting ready to have a huge spinal scoliosis surgery. Where’d I go before that? What happened?!
One of a kind.
220 days ago on May 23, 2012, I got a call that nearly killed me and my soul. Remember Best Friend? The Best Friend that I wrote about early on who shaped who I am today and that I loved unconditionally every day for 20 years? Who I talked to every day for 20 years? Who, together, we handled relationships, marriages, disasters, loves, life, some Bad Damn Bosses and a million billion memories in between? Best Friend committed suicide on May 23, 2012.
It was 5 weeks before my surgery. I can’t even begin to describe my shock and despair. I’m amazed I’m still here and breathing. I will write more about this later, but know I have survived the worst thing I ever could have imagined and I’ve had some damn doozies in this life. I lost my Best Friend. A lot had to be done to pick up the pieces of her life – her dogs, her home, all our memories. It was a task I would not wish on my worst enemy (if I had one). But, I wake up every day and I’m still here. Does that make sense?
Living Dilbert is still here. She nearly died from this loss, but damn if she is not still here.
Lisbeth, this one is for you. I hope you are in a better place, free of anguish. Know that I love you, I miss you and I hope to see you again one day. You were an amazing, kind, giving human being that I wish loved herself as much as those of us around you. The world is not quite as bright now, but I will find a way.
I am going to celebrate the incredible person you were…and therefore, who I am.
Someone has to carry on your priceless sarcasm, right?
Tags: bad boss, best friend, commentary, friendship, grief, living dilbert, loss, suicide, women